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aprilgal Asked February 2014

My husband has dementia and follows me everywhere. Advice?

If he doesn't find me, he starts screaming and cursing until I come running from whatever room I'm in. He keeps thinking that I'm leaving him alone. I've explained over and over again that I'm not. So far, I'm able to food shop alone if I leave him a written note of where I'm at and will be back shortly. I'm at my wits end. I tell him if I'm going to the bathroom, etc. If I try and read a book, he follows me into the living room and sits in a chair and stares at me. I try to find interesting things for him on the TV, but he won't watch anything unless I'm in the room with him.

Chicago1954 Feb 2014
My MIL kept my FIL home, the complete time that he had alzheimers. She did agree to send him to day care and that helped. (Except that he couldn't remember that he had drank coffee, and he would drink 10 cups.) Do you have day care available. You will need to take care of your own needs, I think.

vegaslady Feb 2014
Could he use a walkie talkie, where you just press a button and talk? He could reach you without the yelling. We use one when we're in different parts of the house and cuts down on the screaming and my running around. As for the tv, can you get headphones for you to listen to a show on a second tv (if you don't like what is on for him) or to listen to your cell phone or radio or stereo? I also agree with the medication idea.

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pamstegma Feb 2014
It's called separation anxiety, like when you leave a puppy alone and he chews up the couch. Keep up the written notes, include a time with a clock face if you can. It wouldn't be a bad idea to get him some anxiety meds, we had to get MIL some Xanax and it is available in extended release, so it doesn't hit him all at once, just levels him out. Talk to your MD about an Rx.

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