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RocknaHardPlace Asked February 2014

Sister in law now wants family to be executors of her will. Advice?

Please don't take this as a rant or diss on my S-I-L. Please see it as my wanting to give input to my husband & 2 adult children who are considering being an executor/trix of my sister-in-law's will. I realize it is their decision, not mine to make. She can be as nice as pie one day and be sullen and hateful the next. She is very much for herself. She is a source of discord to my husband and to one of our children. She had "disowned' them & was going to will her residence to a charitable organization. Now that she is up in years & only has my spouse & our children, I am suspicious of this sudden attitude change. She is shrewd about money. She has had contact with elder care lawyers. Our state, PA, has a filial responsibility law. Would my husband or our kids be financially responsible for her care (if care such as nursing home care needed in the future) if they sign on this will? She is dangling the carrot of leaving her residence to them. They do not like her, but the thought of the residence may be an enticement. Cannot a lawyer be made an executor of a will? Please advise. Thank you.

BarbBrooklyn Feb 2014
Being an executor/trix is a thankless and sometimes costly job; people should only take it on out of love for a close family member, not because a carrot is dangled. SIL sounds like a manipulator who will threaten and try to get your family members to do various things for her while she is still alive with the promise of her property. Sounds like a trap to me, nothing to do with filial responsibility, just someone trying to bend them to her will.

pamstegma Feb 2014
Walk Away and don't look back. Decisions base on greed turn out badly. The Executor is ideally a single individual, and not someone who is a beneficiary. Closing an estate is time consuming and complicated. In the end your relatives will end up with a lot of work, and the nursing home will get the house and all other assets.

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jeannegibbs Feb 2014
Having 3 people being executor of a will sounds complicated to me.

Being executor does not become activated until the person dies. It has nothing to do with caregiving or other activities while the person is living. If SIL needs nursing home or other care, she would spend her assets to get it, leaving less (or nothing) for others to inherit.

And being executor really doesn't have anything to do with the beneficiaries of the will. For example, if your husband is the executor and your SIL leaves the residence to a charity, he will be responsible for all the administrative details of getting the residence to the charity.

Filial responsibility laws have to do with responsibility to PARENTS. Your SIL is not the parent of anyone you are discussing, right?

Being an executor can be a complex and time-consuming activity or fairly simple, depending on the deceased's estate. Your husband and children should look up what it entails.

The executor does not have to be a family member.

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