She has dementia and I have care for her 24/7. It has been 4 months since we started the care. My sibs and I all agreed to try this in her own home with as familiar a setting as possible. I also have a down syndrome sister that resides with her. She goes several days and does fine but at least 2-3 times a week she tells the caregivers to get out and she's going to call 911 etc. It breaks my heart esp when she looks at me and tells me to not come back. I know its part of the dementia but it's such a struggle. I live nearby and see Mom the most. I take her to church and to all MD appts. I handle all her affairs and am the one with FMLA so I can be there for her. Will she ever adjust or just forget who we all are? Feeling a little down today.
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I too get this especially when i have invite friends around? Yeh im living in her house and am broke from buying lotto and scratch cards so i can get my own place!
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It hurts, when you have given up your life to take care of them. This is the disease talking and it will keep going. All I can say is I have found out that I need to keep things quieter in the house and her attitude is better. I even found old Dean Martin songs to play and Mom is quiet while they are on.
The last time she called my mum told her to leave i havnt told my mum yet and am dreading the agressive crap to come.
I have to say im done with this and i think like alot here that until something happens theres nothing we can do as her docs and professionals will just say its her house and she can live as she wants?
I am leaving as the stress is too much. My mum wont go to a doc,let a nurse near her or let the carer near her room if i wasnt here shed be living like a down and out and thats what scares me.
All i can do is tell the nurse my concerns and see what options they can come up with now i have to tell mum shes coming tomorrow and as usual mum will threaten me to get out?
My mum tells me to stop infering with her life? well you know what maybe i just will as im fed up with the stress and the constant rows.
I went away last night when i arrived this morning she had left the front door open AGAIN?? i just cant cope anymore lucky nobody broke in but this is what happens when shes left alone?
All i can do is wait until shes ina position where she needs a home i really dont think theres anything wlse we can do? Caregivers need to have more power over this its not what these elders want its what they need?
I heard here in Ireland that this POA was supposed to be reviewed as its just not good enough. Its like we have to wait until something drastic happens until they get help?
mother was in charge in our home. aside from memory problems she was very brilliant and by all rights SHOULD have been calling the shots.
We could now say "The doctor" will not allow you to live alone anymore. Its having someone live here with you or a nursing home. Back then she understood what that meant. Now she doesnot know she is home most of time. When we are there she denies anyone lives with her, though she has lived there with her 3 years!
In our situation, my sister (that was in your position) died suddenly. My other sister and I had to let the situation play out, as we were both 1500 miles away.
My sister (that's living) did stay there for 6 weeks, but it was H*ll. She was 73, herself. So, we had to let mother have her way. Luckily, she went to the hospital and they declared that she could not return home, under any circumstances. She lived alone, so she is now in the NH and is the best she has been in years.
We hated to force her hand, but she still had rights and money and there was no moving her until she just had to. (By the way, we "girls" stayed out of the move and let an adult grandson (50) handle it.) None of us are very young, anymore.