Mother needs cataract surgery and POA keeps coming up with excuses, what can I do!

I am responding to the part here where you're upset because your brother, who seems to be physically nearer your mother, is making decisions, awaiting something and you are getting frustrated as you think you have the answer, and yet you live far away and are not the one who is experiencing the process more closely. I have this similar situation with a sister who swoops in from 3,000 miles away periodically and who completely undercuts and undermines what my brother and I are attempting to do and worse, criticizes us for not doing what she thinks we should have done. So visit your mum, try to put yourself in your brother's shoes, and get all the facts and see really if your brother is doing the best he can.

Thanks for your advice. I am currently visiting her now! It is hard because I just want the best for her. It is a difficult situation with other family members!

Hang in there Linda, it sounds like he is trying to care for her. It is very hard to manage things from afar. When the weather is better, it might be nice for you to visit with her. Just enjoy her company and do not press her for details.

Answer to your question I don't know if she has medicaid yet he doesn't let me know anything and has informed the nursing home not to give me any information about her. I live in Michigan and mother lives in Louisiana. I also agree that she should be evaluated by a doctor before surgery is even considered.

Does someone have Mom's Medical POA, sometimes called Healthcare Proxy? That is the person who should be looking into the risks and benefits of the surgery.

If your not Power of attorney how would you know if your Mom's Medicaid didn't kicked in yet.I see your brother's point.Why pay all that money if Medicaid will pay.

pstegman really has a point. Please talk to her regular doctor and her eye doctor and get all the facts. Does your Mom read and watch TV and socialize? Your brother really needs all the facts for Medicaid also, yourMom may still need to contribute. Good luck!

Don't fall for the cataract surgery scam. Mom fixed one cataract, but she also had glaucoma and the surgery blew out her retina. So then she needed retina repair. Still no vision. So she had a brain CT showing that the vision area of her brain was already damaged by stroke. It was a total waste of time, money and suffering. Get the whole picture of her health before you do anything, analyze all the risks with her MD.