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withouttrace Asked March 2014

How can I protect myself from false elder abuse allegations while caring for family member with dementia?

I am being asked to care for a family member with early stages of dementia in another state. I haven't been very close with this family member and believe there was previous elder abuse by other family members, but I would never do anything of the sort, however my family member has a hard time trusting anyone.
I am a female and have a past history of domestic violence on my criminal record. although I am no longer on probation for the crime and have not had another arrest for violence in a long time, I CAN AND WILL GO TO PRISON FOR ANYTHING THAT INVOLVES ABUSE AND/OR VIOLENCE.
My family member takes medication to thin their blood which causes them to bleed and bruise very easily. the dementia worsens every day and anyone who is around gets accused of stealing things when the family member has "misplaced" their personal items, such as car keys and cigarettes. this tends to be frustrating when NOBODY ELSE IN THE HOUSEHOLD EVEN SMOKES!
My mother who is asking me to care for the family member works in elder care services and has some power to an extent. For some reason I feel that there is more going on than I realize and am being told and that my family has other plans for me, such as many years in prison. but there has been no reason for me to think these things, however I have my reasons for doing so.

How can I protect myself from false accusations of elder abuse by someone who has authority and power in senior care services who wishes to "get rid of" me, when I have a violent criminal record, while I care for a family member with dementia in another state?

assandache7 Mar 2014
As you said your gut is telling you not to trust them!!! So don't set yourself up for a fall..

anonymous179890 Mar 2014
Say NO and get on with your life. As you've never been close to this person why should you do it?

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Nansacola Mar 2014
It is hard enough to take care of a parent who you love and loves you. Why take on the burden of caring for someone who you are not close to. Go with your gut instinct and say "NO, thank you."

gladimhere Mar 2014
I would have to ask why you would consider this if you feel you are being set up? If I were in your shoes with the complete lack of trust buyout family, I would not touch it. There are many people on this website that have been falsely accused and investigated by APS many times because they grew up in dysfunctional families. With your history I don't understand why you would even consider it.

Labs4me Mar 2014
The way I read this you are being asked to care for a family member with dementia so that you can be setup to be accused of abuse so that you can go back to prison and that person is your mother? All this just to get rid of you? If this is the case you must be in dire need of a place to live. Do you really want to take a chance that could possibly cause you to become incarcerated again?

Chicago1954 Mar 2014
My elderly neighbor gave me some good advice once. When asked to do something that you don't want to do, say "I couldn't POSSIBLY do that." Keep repeating until the person asking, gets the message.

Angelkw Mar 2014
No is a complete sentence. I think you already know the answer...trust your instincts.

Miasmom1 Mar 2014
my parents also take blood thinners and I have seen the bruises from a simple bump - they always look pretty bad. Should something happen, the finger is automatically going to be pointed at you due to your past, unfortunately. I'm not even sure if constant documentation of false accusations etc. on your part would help you. I think you should trust your instincts and concentrate on you. Good luck!

JessieBelle Mar 2014
Just say no, you can't do it. The reasons to not do it are many-fold. I can't think of a single good reason that you should, given what you wrote.

lsmiami Mar 2014
If your instincts are correct you need to stay away from that situation. If you are incorrect, then you are a bit paranoid of these people, which is still a food reason to stay away!

It is impossible to protect yourself once you step into the situation.

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