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Carrie01 Asked March 2014

My Dad has dementia. He is very argumentative, angry, and can be aggressive. Any advice?

He wants to move back to another state where he vacationed often. He wants to spend, spend and spend money all the time. He is trying to get away from me and the doctors so he can be left alone to do what he wants. He will not get away from us of course but this is an everyday battle.

Carrie01 Mar 2014
We went thru this with his mother a few years ago. She had the same temperament. I guess you could say that we expected him to be like this?...We have facilities for adult daycare in our area. The problem we have is that he will not stand for that. He still has moments of clarity. We had a caretaker at their home but my father's temper and antics ran him off. I am the 'bad guy' in all of this according to him. That's ok because someone has to look out for their best interest. He has an upcoming doctors appt. and I have notes to talk to with her about alone away from him.

Chicago1954 Mar 2014
I agree that he "can't be left alone." My FIL went through this with his Alz. and the police had to be called several times. My MIL waited too long to act and he would enter the wrong house, get lost walking to the grocery store, etc. Adult daycare was a God send. He went every day.

About once a month, here in southern AZ. an elderly patient will wander away and get lost, with devastating consequences. My FIL even got the tractor started, when he was visiting his daughter.

What facilities do you have locally, where your father could have 24/7 care?

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anonymous179890 Mar 2014
Unfortunately, as the dementia progresses, it will only get worse. If he's taking it out on you and your mother would it be possible to get some home help to give both of you a break? First of all I would get someone to sit with your father while you and your mother go elsewhere and have a long talk, hopefully with the doctor, about where this is going and what your options may be for the future. If he won't tolerate a "sitter" maybe you can get someone to clean the windows, mow the lawn or something while they keep an eye on him.

Carrie01 Mar 2014
He is at home with my mother. I live close to them. I stay there often to give her a break. Yes and no on taking care of himself. He is in the late early to beginning middle stages. He recently had a stroke which seem to progress the dementia. He tries to take care of himself but doesn't do a very good job. He cannot be left alone.

anonymous179890 Mar 2014
Where is he living now? Is he able to care for himself at all?

Carrie01 Mar 2014
Any suggestions on what to do? Anyone else dealing with the same?

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