Do you use art, writing, or music to help you deal with your life?
Focusing on videography, writing, or meditation fuels my interest in life when the rest of it (this caregiving ordeal) sucks even that away. How do you cope? What arts are you using? Can you share some of it with us?
Hey, artists! Show us your work! If this is a Kosher thing to do here, I'll go first. I made a documentary about my mentor and friend who passed away Christmas 1999. It was a great way for me to grieve the loss and to escape my own troubles in caregiving at home! In the process, I discovered I helped hundreds who loved the artist and never adequately dealt with the loss, including his wife who is now in probably her last year herself. I got closer to many people. My mother, the portrait artist, painted an oil painting of David C Baker. She had met him and like countless people, she was influenced by his gift of making everyone feel like they could do anything. Ya have to see the movie: start with the preview at website: bakerlegacy
The best art is when you see that others benefit. I never had that experience so completely. I'd love to see your work, Olma and Angels. I think being an artist and being resourceful is a great boon to one's life. Everyone can cultivate whatever you have inside. You never know what can come.
I took up drawing before my moms dementia diagnosis, teaching myself through free lessons I found online. I can't say I'm an "artist", but at least I've improved enough that people might actually WANT me on their team in a Pictionary match now, lol. After my mom's condition was diagnosed, I continued to draw. In fact, I became a bit obsessed with it. I draw portraits from photos, and my favorite subjects are people and pets. (I aim for photo-realism, but I don't achieve it, lol.) For me, this is my release. It's a lot cheaper then my psychotherapist, and I don't have to wait a month for an appointment.
The heavy caregiving hours for me are over around 8 PM. Although I am on "watch" until 3 AMand sleep roughly 6 hours a day I've found the wee hours of my long day to be the most restful, refreshing. How ? I'm a self taught digital artist who now has virtual showings on the internet and made a little money selling them. I write short stories, articles and the like on any subject that strikes my fancy.It has also provided some stipends from time to time. I play a computer game called "sims" which allows me full control over an entire world and it's occupants! (woo hoo!). I make plans for the garden,change the look and feel of the house decor often by scouring the recycle,reuse,thrift shops. I offer useless advice to others in similar situations.
I am a self taught digital artist with several (free) galleries across the internet.
Before my MIL came to live with us, I quilted and sewed. I also was learning to water color paint. Loved it all. When she came to live with us, I didn't do any of it because she demanded my full attention. Now that she has been placed in a board and care, I am finding some of that creativity back. I wish now that I would have kept at it while she was there, it would have been a great outlet for me.
I'm a terrible driver, I hate driving and I get mad at other terrible drivers who cuts in front of me, then brakes to turn right, and I look behind me, and There Are NO cars behind me. I slam on my brakes or else rear-end him. Or the driver who enters the mainroad and forces me to slam on my brakes. I look behind me - and There Are NO cars behind me. I get road rage. To calm myself, I turn full blast my ABBA CD with the slow songs to help calm me.
With caregiving, I turn on the TV and watch HLN, CNN, Undercover Boss, HGTV and Long Island Medium. And my favorite - reading books.
No creativity. If I do anything creative, I would put 110% attention on it for hours. If I was to make a dress, I would not just make one dress. I would make 3 of it in different designs. I would cut all the materials first. Then pin it all. Then sew one dress after another until I've completed all 3 at one time. When I used to do this, it would take me 2 days to complete. When it comes to creativity, I would ignore father, ignore caregiving, ignore eating meals, etc.... Therefore, I avoid creativity.
I have found that ironing clothes and hand washing dishes are very calming for me.
Geez, sorry Judd. AllisonBoBallison and JuddaBuddaboo get mixed up in my linguistically challenged mind. Love both your names BTW! YOU girls ARE creative.
Judd, I have to keep reminding myself of how close my mom and I used to be. She was a good mom and gave me a lot, materially (we're both clothes hounds) and just who I am - cooking, gardening, decorating. Girl stuff. I have to remind myself that she is not the same person because of hardening of the arteries in her brain, the huge loss of my dad and her home, and her magnifying narcissism. That's big stuff for such a tiny little woman.
Doesn't mean she doesn't piss me off bigtime! How I deal creatively? Hmmm...I kind of fell out of doing my papier mache people for awhile now, like years. I feel like I've wasted so many years on not doing something I really enjoyed and was good at doing. Just no time. Gardening season has started and that's a big creative outlet for me and goes hand in hand with photography as the season progresses. I used to be a television producer in my former life. I sure miss that adrenaline. It sometimes helps to remember that time in my life. I have no regrets as I quit to raise my son. He has and always will come first. TV shows come and go but he's forever in MY heart.
I paint funky old garden chairs and tools in interesting colors to put in the garden. I guess that could be considered creative. I like the pop of color. So yeah. Do something unexpected that makes YOU smile. Thanks for making me think, Allison. :)
Thank you Capt! I just feel like a used up rag and keep fighting to keep my peace. I can't imagine I'd feel glad that I did this! It makes me laugh. It feels like the worse thing that ever happened to me. No one appreciates it: mom doesn't, my family doesn't, and even I don't want to do this anymore. I don't even feel like I am consciously giving: it's more of a trap. Being controlled and manipulated by a deranged mother and feeling no control over my own life. I detest this experience and I know that just makes it worse. I sure can understand why you'd blow it somewhere with someone, or even how someone could be violent, although I have never been there. Just that I can understand what it feels like to be in a pressure cooker. Without my spiritual beliefs I'd be dangerous for sure!
I try to remember the times my mother was there for me, in spite of her mental issues. I try to remember how close we used to be. I look around at my humble possessions and realize so much came from her. I look forward to that "rewarding" moment of knowing I did my best, even though no one acknowledged it.
i well remember the desperation of my life being on hold for 6 years to stay with my mom. i built another 3 wheeled motorcycle. id never want to part with it, dont need it, wth? when i look at it now its just a symbol of how difficult it was to have my life on hold for so long. no regrets on the caregiving, it was just hard on the " person " . i almost didnt cope is what im saying. got into a couple of brushes with the law in the last 3 yrs of it and in hindsight i see where those wise judges recognized the strain i was under. the caregiving was noted in the reports and inquired about by the courts. i dont have much advice except to keep your hope for the future. its a huge sacrifice of your life but when its ended you have a rewarding " calm " .. you appreciate what it means to give..
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website: bakerlegacy
The best art is when you see that others benefit. I never had that experience so completely. I'd love to see your work, Olma and Angels. I think being an artist and being resourceful is a great boon to one's life. Everyone can cultivate whatever you have inside. You never know what can come.
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Although I am on "watch" until 3 AMand sleep roughly 6 hours a day I've found the wee hours of my long day to be the most restful, refreshing. How ?
I'm a self taught digital artist who now has virtual showings on the internet and made a little money selling them.
I write short stories, articles and the like on any subject that strikes my fancy.It has also provided some stipends from time to time.
I play a computer game called "sims" which allows me full control over an entire world and it's occupants! (woo hoo!).
I make plans for the garden,change the look and feel of the house decor often by scouring the recycle,reuse,thrift shops.
I offer useless advice to others in similar situations.
I am a self taught digital artist with several (free) galleries across the internet.
With caregiving, I turn on the TV and watch HLN, CNN, Undercover Boss, HGTV and Long Island Medium. And my favorite - reading books.
No creativity. If I do anything creative, I would put 110% attention on it for hours. If I was to make a dress, I would not just make one dress. I would make 3 of it in different designs. I would cut all the materials first. Then pin it all. Then sew one dress after another until I've completed all 3 at one time. When I used to do this, it would take me 2 days to complete. When it comes to creativity, I would ignore father, ignore caregiving, ignore eating meals, etc.... Therefore, I avoid creativity.
I have found that ironing clothes and hand washing dishes are very calming for me.
Signed,
boring Windytown
Doesn't mean she doesn't piss me off bigtime! How I deal creatively? Hmmm...I kind of fell out of doing my papier mache people for awhile now, like years. I feel like I've wasted so many years on not doing something I really enjoyed and was good at doing. Just no time. Gardening season has started and that's a big creative outlet for me and goes hand in hand with photography as the season progresses. I used to be a television producer in my former life. I sure miss that adrenaline. It sometimes helps to remember that time in my life. I have no regrets as I quit to raise my son. He has and always will come first. TV shows come and go but he's forever in MY heart.
I paint funky old garden chairs and tools in interesting colors to put in the garden. I guess that could be considered creative. I like the pop of color. So yeah. Do something unexpected that makes YOU smile. Thanks for making me think, Allison. :)
I try to remember the times my mother was there for me, in spite of her mental issues. I try to remember how close we used to be. I look around at my humble possessions and realize so much came from her. I look forward to that "rewarding" moment of knowing I did my best, even though no one acknowledged it.
i almost didnt cope is what im saying. got into a couple of brushes with the law in the last 3 yrs of it and in hindsight i see where those wise judges recognized the strain i was under. the caregiving was noted in the reports and inquired about by the courts.
i dont have much advice except to keep your hope for the future. its a huge sacrifice of your life but when its ended you have a rewarding " calm " ..
you appreciate what it means to give..