Siblings that care more about inheritance than parent or caregiver. Any advice?

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Lindaboop6 Asked March 2014

Siblings that care more about inheritance than parent or caregiver. Any advice?

I have a brother who lives 2 hrs from my home ( I have had both my parents living with my husband and I for 10 yrs) he visits dad every other month for a 24 hour visit, at the visit we assume all monies spent on food and etc.He then goes back to his home and lives with his wife(she visits us maybe 2 times a year). My brother knows that my father inherited a small amount of money from his sister who died 6 weeks after my mother died at home. At Christmas my dad gave $5,000.00 cash to my brother and his wife(who did come up for Christmas), after gift giving off home they went, but on the way home stopped and bought a $1,000.00 TV....now it is March and my brother wants $20,000.00 to remodel his kitchen.....I do have POA and I do not think that should be given, my dad is really thinking a lot over this..he is 87 yes old....would appreciate your input....also over the last 5 yrs my brother has gotten over $8,000.00 for being in tight spots!!!!

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score 2 · Answer 1

You'll be in a real pickle if Dad needs Medicaid within five years. Every penny he gave bro will result in a penalty, and Medicaid won't pay. So unless bro is willing to guarantee repayment to Medicaid and foot the NH bills, he can whistle Dixie.

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score 2 · Answer 2

I would suggest you see a lawyer and have a promissary note prepared so your brother is obligated to repay to your father any funds he has gifted to your brother within and on a rolling basis for five years. As others have indicated if your father comes to the point where he will require Medicade, there is a five year look back.and if your brother is not obligated to repay the amounts in a given period of time with modest interest, then either you may find yourself trying to pay for his care or your father may be without care. If your brother doesn't seem to or want to understand why he must sign such notes, make sure you discuss with the lawyer the steps needed to prevent the dispersal of funds. He may also be able to point out easy to understand documents prepared by CMS to help your brother see the potential harm of his actions.

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score 1 · Answer 3

As POA it is your job to make these decisions for Dad.. If Dad needs to apply for medicaid they have a 5 year look back period and you as POA would have to answer for his spending. He would have to spend down to qualify.

Your Dad's money will probably be needed for his own care, he may need home care, nursing home care and he'll need the money.

Does your Dad pay you for care/rent?

So I too think it's not a good idea to give brother money..

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score 1 · Answer 4

You need to think about how well off your dad is or isn't. If it is possible that he will eventually need to go on medicaid for nursing home care, then he should not be giving any money to your brother because there is a 5 year lookback period and until that money is paid back, you, as POA, will be on the hook to pay for your father's care. So right now, you are on the hook for the $8000 plus any money your father gave you as a gift.

If your father is well to do, and has longterm care insurance and other substantial income, then he can give gifts to you and your brother without any concern.

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Siblings that care more about inheritance than parent or caregiver. Any advice?

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