Am I responsible for what Mom's spending because I am her POA?

Well done musiclady. I am POA for my mother, and I feel part of my job is to monitor her spending, and if I feel it is out of character, to put some restraints on her account, She as always been very careful with money, so any change would be something I have to look into carefully and act on.

Thanks to all who gave me advice. I sent registered letters to the 2 that were getting groceries and things telling them that they were committing fraud and they needed to stop immediately because they were signing her name and I was able to get recites with their signatures of her name. They stopped immediately and I was able to lower the amount my mother could spend on her credit card. She is not happy with me but all her money would be gone if they kept spending like they were. Now she says she is afraid to spend any thing and I have explained she has so much a month but she continues to call me about every little item. That is driving me crazy. I have reassured her but when one is old it is hard. I try to be understanding. I think the calling is a way to get my attention and who knows what else she may want me to feel. I also took my joint name off her account. I can still do business for her but at least I wont be responsible for her spending funds she does not have.

Yes, it would be a good idea to limit what she can spend, and yes, you can do that as POA.

Your profile says she is on Medical Assistance and Elderly Waiver. I don't know exactly what that means in NC, but that in my mother's case here, it meant she cannot have more than $2000 in her banking accounts, and she pretty well had to live on her SS check. Now that she is in a nursing home, it means her SS goes toward her NH charges and she has an allowance of $90 to live on.

Whatever it means in NC, I assume that your mother has a relatively small amount in her bank accounts and that most of her monthly income goes toward her assisted living. As POA you should ensure that she is not living beyond her means. She should not be charging things she cannot pay for out of her limited bank account. If she depletes that money completely, what happens when she needs new shoes or a more comfortable chair?

Do I understand correctly that she has a friend using the CC and writing checks? That may be a friendly kindness or it may border on exploitation. I don't know. If you can get her back to the point where she was so careful without damaging your relationship, then that is what your goal should be. Even if it makes her mad at you if you "butt in" and limit her spending, I think you should do it. She appointed you POA to act in her best interests when she no longer could. It doesn't sound to me that letting a friend influence her spending is in her best interests.

Good luck to you.

DO NOT go joint with her on any account. Her bad credit will be YOUR bad credit if you do. Take away the credit cards! Destroy them and close the accounts in writing. You're not responsible unless the purchase transaction has your signature on it, or you are listed as a secondary user.

In my opinon, POA's should be required to report all their activities to their person, the spouse, and all children or remaining descendants.
It is the responsible thing to do. Plus it helps you keep track of your hours of work, in case anybody suspects you of mis-managing their parents' funds.

Need to follow this question.

As a POA you are not responsible personally for her debts. If the person who has given you the responsibility , that doesn't mean you have just taken over their life. You step in when needed. Many of us have POA for someone, or someone has POA for us, but that doesn't mean we don't run our own lives now. It also doesn't mean that the POA is personally responsible for debts of the person who gave the POA. A Durable POA continues after the person can no longer handle their own affairs and has become incompetent. You may want to be more proactive now and listen to the other posters. Dogabone, as DPOA instead of being her errand boy and running to the bank, why aren't you actually helping to Manage her funds? That would seem to me to be more responsible than what you describe yourself as doing now. I still don't know why you don't resign for your position because you hate it so much.

Responsible for your Mother's spending as her POA. Yes you are. Your job as her POA is to keep recepts and logs of all activity. If an agent ect would ever ask where did her money go? Your the feller they will be pointing the finger towards because, your her POA. If she would every need a nurcing home and Medicaid then is where they will be asking where did the money go.
Same problem I'm having,
I'm DPOA for my Aunt. She sends me to her bank to draw out $300 for her spending money. The next day she loses it all or hides it all somewhere or forgets where she placed it all. Then she has me draw another $300 out of her bank for her. Where did the other $300 go If I was ever asked by a agent?Growed legs I guess lol.
I will say this,
No matter how much money is involved.No money is worth being a POA. I look back at all this POA stuff now and feel a POA is pointless to have or to be. All a POA is use for is finger pointing if issues arrise. And the finger will 100% be pointed towards the POA in fact.Attorney promote the letters POA for gain.Instead of becoming a POA for someone.All you need to do is three things.
(1)Have a Living Will Created.
(2)Become Joint on their bank account.
(3)Create a Trust.
Problem solved with knowone to point the finger towards.

If it were me I'd just take the credit card away. As her POA you will not be responsible for the credit card bills when she passes away however that will not stop creditors from contacting YOU after she passes away in hopes of getting some money out of you. This happened to me when my dad died and while I didn't have to fork over any money as my name wasn't on any of the accounts they still got the info that I was POA and blew up my phone for months trying to get me to make a payment. It took quite a while for it to stop.

If your DPOA at her bank.You can have a limit set on her card.
I understand what your going thru.I'm DPOA and Caregiver over my 88 yr old Aunt.My Aunt controls her checkbook and cards.Attempting to take them all away from her will cause relationship issues between the two of you.As you will agree we don't need anymore problems.You need to talk with her bank and explain what's going on.They will help you with this stuff.You can set a monthly spending limit at her bank.

No you're not responsible for her CC as her POA unless your name is on it...
I would take the card away and tell her she can't afford extras!