We've moved Dad to memory care. How do we support and 'love' him through the transition?

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geolin6 Asked April 2014

We've moved Dad to memory care. How do we support and 'love' him through the transition?

Dad is almost 92 and does not believe he has any issues. His short term memory is not there although he sometimes can remember a nugget. I read elsewhere on this site how the reasoning skills are gone long before the memory and this is the case with dad. Yet he continues to insist he is fine. He has always been independent and authoritative. He knows how much I love him and but is very upset that I have insisted he come here. He believes this is a temporary move but I can no longer care for him at home (he's lived with me for the past 11 years and I cared for my mom before her death for 3 of those years).

Dad is very social and I'm hoping he will quickly build some friendships that will help him in transitioning. We were unable to move his own furniture into his space for the initial move but did anyone find it helped to make the space look like his previous space and how did you make that happen? He is in a great facility and I will see him often and continue to take him out to places as makes sense but this is a new stage to me and I'm hoping to hear how some of you have made a transition like this with your mom or dad?

Assisted Living

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score 0 · Answer 1

I advise every caregiver to go to ,"Alzheimer's & Dementia Care" site on U-tube. So much great information.

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score 1 · Answer 2

Try having dinner in the dinning room with him and the other residents. Begin the conversations so he can start to know people. Yes, have photos, photo albums of family events and write the names and relationship of family members so he can see who they are even as he forgets. familiar blankets are good. I agreed with the CD or mp3 player with his favorite songs (usually big band from the 40s).

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score 0 · Answer 3

We moved my mom from same assisted living to their memory care unit where she is higher functioning than most of her peers. She has had a hard time adjusting but does often refer to recognizing her dresser and chair and homemade quilts from home so I think their own belongings do help them feel more comfortable. She used to be very social but has remained quite seclusive in both units which disappoints me.

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score 0 · Answer 4

What a great person you are.
Don't push the river. You'll get there anyway.
If it is as good a place as you speak of, he will find a new life with cronies his own age & be delighted-let it happen naturally.
Having moved so many into assisted living after my assessment-I am an R.N.-I have found that many do well if there are familiar objects around them. I , myself am facing the same thing with my husband, who suffers from Solvent Dementia. I am attempting to keep him at home, in the house next to me (we have a guest house that I moved in to over a year ago,) for I could no longer live with his toxin's & choose not to have Solvent Dementia as he has. He was a painter all of his life & the fumes I can't tolerate & he can't even notice.

You dad sounds rather sharp & I do believe that once he adjust to his new home, & you continue to see him, he'll be ok.
Your a Saint in disguise.

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score 0 · Answer 5

Well you've done a wonderful job! The change of environment is difficult for someone with dementia to adapt to. Adjustment takes 6-8 weeks, so expect some bumpy roads. He may show anxiety out of fear or agitation. If he has say a favorite sports team, you could hang certain things associated with team. Bring pictures, and a CD player so he can play his favorite music. He sounds high functioning, but he may recognize others are not. This may be a reminder of where he is at. The memory care unit will try and involve him in activities and certainly will establish a well needed routine. You have been taking care of him for so long you may find much time on your hands and also wonder how you got through all this. One thing my motherinlaw finds comfort in is when I pray with her. The spiritual side to a huge change for him like this may help him. Try to keep this as a positive move. I congratulate you for a job well done!

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We've moved Dad to memory care. How do we support and 'love' him through the transition?

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