My Mom just went to police station and told them I threw her up against the wall which is so false. What do I do?

I have to admit that if my mother went to the police with these type of false allegations I would no longer be able to be her caregiver. Caregivers have to put up with a lot, but this crosses the line for me. It may be the disease that caused it to happen, but it would let me know that she had gotten to the point where I could no longer help. She would need a higher level of supervision than I could provide.

Peace, does she live with you, or do you live with her? Is she pretty independent, or does she need a full-time caregiver? Is this the first time she has displayed irrational behavior, or is this just the most extreme example?

I think the reason some people respond by saying, "Put her in a home" is because some of us deal with behavior like this frequently. When my sisters and I first started taking care of our parents, whenever a home health care nurse would come to the house my mother would whine and complain about how awful and mean and abusive we were to her. At first I would just burst into tears that she would lie about me that way, then after it happened a few times I got very angry. Finally I decided that any time she does this I would calmly offer to find her a care facility where she would have medical staff at her beck and call 24/7. My sisters do the same. That pretty much shut Mom up. I talked to the home health care nurse one day after Mom made accusations and she told me that she can tell by looking at her that she is being well cared for. She is clean, well fed, dressed appropriately, the house is clean, etc. There is no sign of neglect or abuse. She said this can be a byproduct of dementia, but sometimes elderly people just do stuff like this for attention, or to have a pity party and get sympathy from a stranger.

I think you should have her evaluated for dementia, if she hasn't been already. I also think, for your own protection, you should make it clear to her that if there are any more incidents like this, she will have to move to assisted living for her own protection. You should not have to worry about being arrested because your mother is either delusional or craves attention. You also don't want to have to worry that if she falls and hurts herself you will somehow be suspected of abuse because of prior false reports.

I agree with Pam, call APS yourself before the Police do. Document that she is unbruised, that she has dementia.

You should have insisted the officer take her off the premises. He could take her to a hospital for a body check, to look for bruises that aren't there. You refuse to pick her up. By taking her back in, you are guaranteed a repeat performance. Call the county APS and ask them to relieve you, to have her evaluated.

I wish it was that simple but it isn't. Someone should put this in a file who? I cant believe you think that she isn't happy living with me please explain

She needs to be evaluated by a doctor I'd say. If she has dementia or Alzheimers, then someone needs to be putting that in file somewhere so this can't happen again. Maybe you should tell her that IF she ever does that again, you will help them put her in a facility for her own protection. Since obviously she's not happy living with you. Like the kid that gets mad and says he/she is going to run away. I'd say, 'I'll help you pack your bags'.