It is a sad situation when all of the children don't communicate and work together for the parent's well being. Sad but common. Has your family always been dysfunctional, or, as Pam suggests, might Mom's dementia be playing into this?
Mom is in a nursing home. POA Sis has a responsibility to safeguard her assets, such as what is in the home. Changing locks may be a good security measure, especially if there is no telling who might have had keys to the old locks. If you have some need to be in that house, perhaps POA will go with you. But if you say, "Where is the antique mirror that used to hang in this hall?" and she says "I sold it and put the money in Mom's nursing home account." you may still have doubts.
How are you being mistreated? Apparently you suspect that POA is not using Mom's assets for Mom's needs. Is that correct? If you have any basis for your suspicion, report it to APS. But realize that APS won't be concerned about being fair to you ... but being responsible in managing Mom's affairs.
Mother had a right and a need to appoint someone to look after her affairs. She appointed your sister. Sister is not responsible to you. In the best of families, all of this is open and communication is frequent. I am sorry that is not the case for you.
Removing the guns is a good idea. It appears the two of them think you should be locked out. It would be fair to ask them why. It is possible for a dementia patient to say some bizarre things, did mom accuse you or sis of taking something? Were there too many people with keys?
I have two sisters and one brother, the brother drilled out my mothers dead bolt lock, on her house and changed it, with out her permission, and took her two pistols home with him, he gave a key to my sister that's the poa. She said she"s not giving any body else a key, Myself and my other sister feel we are being mistreated, as the other two do not even talk to us or communicate, it"t a sad situation, its OK with my mother I guess, it"s her fault. She has dementia to, but not very bad.I just don't understand.
You can ask your sister, but she is not legally bound to provide them to you as your mother's POA. If you feel your sister is abusing her powers, you would need to seek legal action for her to produce the financial records. Why do you feel you and your siblings have a right to know?
If you suspect wrongdoing, you can report her to APS for elder abuse, including misappropriation of funds. They will investigate and either clear her or have her removed. You still won't get to see the records.
When my sisters started asking what Dad had, I did not tell them. I was not his POA and they were not in his Will. It all went to his third wife, who was married to him for 24 years. They had no need to know.
This is only a request of her financial statement from the bank, to see what my sister is spending out of my mothers account, we should all be able to see that, why not
no, i am not asking for nursing home records, I am speaking about my mothers bank account, and savings account, my mother draws enough monthly to cover nursing home expediences. My sister is in charge of her bank accounts.
No, you do not have the right to nursing home records. I can tell you they are not cheap and usually any inheritance is long gone by the time the patient passes on.
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Mom is in a nursing home. POA Sis has a responsibility to safeguard her assets, such as what is in the home. Changing locks may be a good security measure, especially if there is no telling who might have had keys to the old locks. If you have some need to be in that house, perhaps POA will go with you. But if you say, "Where is the antique mirror that used to hang in this hall?" and she says "I sold it and put the money in Mom's nursing home account." you may still have doubts.
How are you being mistreated? Apparently you suspect that POA is not using Mom's assets for Mom's needs. Is that correct? If you have any basis for your suspicion, report it to APS. But realize that APS won't be concerned about being fair to you ... but being responsible in managing Mom's affairs.
Mother had a right and a need to appoint someone to look after her affairs. She appointed your sister. Sister is not responsible to you. In the best of families, all of this is open and communication is frequent. I am sorry that is not the case for you.
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