How can I convince my 92 yr old mother-in-law to move into our home?

no---- it is funny =)

LOL

Sorry, but the pacemaker thing is funny. I mean, it's not because it probably does worry her, but it kind of is. My MIL has a pacemaker and I have to admit it's the major source of family humor. I'll have to tell her this.

But, I digress, and I'm really not trying to make light of your issue. My situation was a little easier because we were just a four-hour drive from my mom and could get over there if we really had to. If she can pay for a train ticket, herself, my mom actually found that that was a friendly way to travel. Also, if you book ahead by at least a couple weeks (more around the holidays, of course), you'll find some great prices. The downside is that the train arrives late quite often, and at any hour of the day. Some bus services have awesome deals, too. I know that if you don't have the money this might not help, but if you get to a point where a reduced fare could help, just mentioning these as options.

yes, that was one idea we had, to have her visit. She won't move and leave her house because her Deceased husband built it for her 65 years ago ( and she says he visits her there!) I said, well, he would visit you wherever you go, it's not the house. And I even said she can bring anything or everything she owns ( which is a lot!) I would figure something out once it's all here. We sort of don't have the money to go get her and bring her out just for a visit, then get her back there. it's complicated, plus she has annoying friends that tell her how horrible Utah is, how it's ugly,a vast desert with gangs.( and that her pacemaker would not work here) They don't know what they're talking about. We live at the base of the mountains by a lake, it's beautiful, no crime, no smog. Today I am printing off pictures to mail her.
thanks for the advice! I will work on a visit.

Can you get her to visit? If she visits, make it mostly about just being together so that it's not a vacation-long sales pitch or she'll be resentful and possibly never return. However, ask her if you could take the time to discuss it. Ask her if she dislikes the setup or is uncomfortable in your house or whatever questions might come to you. Let her talk about why she won't move.

I did this with my mother. It sort of worked. It was a long process and wasn't great, but it helped me understand some of the issues. In the end, it was only partially that and partially that her health declined a bit more that combined to convince her.

thank you, yes those pesky keys seem to be the last hold on them ( I understand, and I can imagine, it's that last step........) meanwhile, we get to sit and have anxiety attacks.ah well............glad I'm not a drinker =) thank you!

No, you can't force her.

And if she wants to live on her own even after being a victim of crime I can't imagine what you and your husband can offer her to get her to come and live with you.

You will probably have to wait until she has a major health crisis like a fall or a bout of pneumonia. I know that makes things much harder on you and your husband but having elderly parents is a job with a lot of work involved. Nothing is ever easy.

When my dad's Dr. advised him to give up driving it took me weeks to get his keys away. We had discussions, we had arguments, I bargained with him, I pleaded with him. It was a long process and I imagine that's what you're facing, a very long process.