My pc got a virus and I miss this forum because it gives great feeback. We are doing fine for now. Oh, I did get a medical power of attorney and if anyone has any information on these, I am great at learning. I learned that if the patient says no, then the POA is no good.
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once my mom was hauled to the hospital against her wishes. i dont know the terminology but when the medics had decided she was hallucinating, they strapped her down and hauled her to hospital. i guess that time mpoa trumped phsycotic rambling.. in hindsight tho the hospice nurse on the phone helped to open the proper channels..
strangely in the last couple of days the rehab nurses for edna have openly shared medical info with me. they dont even have a hipaa form on file. if the patient allows you to be there, your privvy to a certain amount of info.
I give her choices as often as possible on small things such as which top to wear, food, etc. -- choices among alternatives I know to be okay for her.
Otherwise, I don't ask; I tell her.
You don't have to be bossy. But firmness is needed and that comes from your inner strength and conviction you must take charge in order to protect your mother from herself.
On medical issues, I enlist the support of doctors, nurses and aides. For example when her cataracts neared the point of no return, I wrote a letter to the eye doctor ahead of Mom’s appointment. I was impressed when the assistant looked at Mom's chart, then looked at her and said, "I see it's time for your cataracts to be removed." Mom nodded and it was smooth sailing after that (except for trying to keep her from bending forward during recovery).
One cautionary note concerning surgery is that general anesthesia can have a very bad effect on mental capacity in older people. This is a factor to consider if going under the knife is at all optional.
Good luck and God bless.
The example that's always at the back of my mind is people who may always have held that were they to become incapacitated they would rather not be kept alive - but have an abrupt change of heart when it actually happens. I wouldn't hold someone to something they'd previously believed if they'd found out they might have misjudged the situation..!
I sympathise with the pc worries, by the way. Me too: what a migraine :(