I have been caring for my FIL for 3 yrs and now family is showing up that I've never seen before pushing me out. Any advice?
I have taken care of him for 3yrs. My FIL is now on hospice. They don't even now him or care. All I see them doing is going through his stuff to see what they can take. In the meanwhile he is in the next room dying.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Support your husband in however he wants to handle it. Your FIL is lucky he had both of you to care for him in the past three years.
(sorry....AC decided to hit Submit while I was typing..) "The time to get his stuff is when He Is No Longer With Us on this Earth." Hubby needs to be with you, put his foot down. And take all the stuff back, dump it in the room, and LOCK the room up.
I am soooo sorry. If they are like this while he's dying, it's going to get really worse when he's dead. I'm so sorry for you, hubby and FIL. {{HUGS}}
The point is - we did all this hard daily caregiving. We no longer had a normal life because of caregiving. When we needed help, the family never showed up. Now that the parent is dying, they think they have a RIGHT to his possessions. Yet, they were never there for him - when he needed them.
Farmerswife, any way of getting your hubby to put a stop to this? Do you feel angry enough to Confront your in-laws and Shame them? Turn on the music in your FIL's room. Tell your in-laws: Shame on you! When your father needed you, you were never there for him. Now that he is dying in the room next door, you're all like vultures taking his things. HE IS NOT DEAD! LEAVE HIS STUFF ALONE!
I didn't have the experience of family doing what they are doing to you, because I was an only child. However, just in terms of what is happening: material things are just that. If that's what they want, let them have them. You have your father-in-law and his love. Keep THAT close to your heart, and let them have the earthly things. Love is MUCH more important than an old watch.
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I agree with Book.. Immediate family only!! If ever there's a time to stand up for yourself this is the time...
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"The time to get his stuff is when He Is No Longer With Us on this Earth." Hubby needs to be with you, put his foot down. And take all the stuff back, dump it in the room, and LOCK the room up.
I am soooo sorry. If they are like this while he's dying, it's going to get really worse when he's dead. I'm so sorry for you, hubby and FIL. {{HUGS}}
Farmerswife, any way of getting your hubby to put a stop to this? Do you feel angry enough to Confront your in-laws and Shame them? Turn on the music in your FIL's room. Tell your in-laws: Shame on you! When your father needed you, you were never there for him. Now that he is dying in the room next door, you're all like vultures taking his things. HE IS NOT DEAD! LEAVE HIS STUFF ALONE!