Suggestions for what to do with Mom's framed flower bouquet from her first wedding?

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cmcwrinkl1 Asked April 2014

Suggestions for what to do with Mom's framed flower bouquet from her first wedding?

As some of you know, I've been clearing out Mom's things as she moves to IL/AL. And some items have been difficult to get rid of.

I am the oldest. My parents divorced when I was 3. Mom married "Dad" who was really my step-dad. They had 5 more kids that I babysat A LOT. I never saw my real father. Mom did keep a few items from her first marriage but I grew up with the rule that we NEVER talk about that time. In fact, I've found items from her first marriage I never knew existed.

Fast forward to now and I have her framed wedding bouquet from the marriage to my bio-dad which she gave to me about 10 years ago. (I did reconnect with him after about 35 years). I am not close to him or to my Mom. But I'm the one that has stepped in to take care of Mom since my step-dad died and she had her stroke.

At one point, the bouquet meant something to me. Now that I'm seeing Mom's true personality, her selfishness and manipulation of people, I no longer want it. No other family members want it.

Any suggestions?

Burnout

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score 2 · Answer 1

The older I get the more I look at "stuff" as "just stuff". The flowers aren't your mom or your dad. Getting rid of them or keeping them won't affect your relationship with them or your memory of them. I doubt it's the only thing you have of either one that would trigger memories down the road.

I'd try to get it to someone who (if it's still an attractive thing) would love it and be happy/proud to own it. I'm trying to get rid of everything that doesn't have great meaning to me, or that I don't use or love. After going through getting rid of stuff from my parents (and my mom is still here and I'm facing that once again when she goes), I want my life to be SIMPLE and clutter free. Anything I question, I get rid of these days. And that feels great (to me anyway).

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score 1 · Answer 2

Not trying to be smart alec about it: e bay. If not, toss it unless it's VERY sentimental. You can't take it with you. Sounds cold, but it's true.

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score 2 · Answer 3

LadeeC - Good point. As I was reading the answers to my question, it did occur to me I must still feel some tie to even be spending time posting about it. Maybe once Mom is settled in her new place and being more independent (I hope) I may feel differently about our relationship.

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score 1 · Answer 4

A little sideways, here. Maybe right now you're not feeling so good about your relationship. Think about this: 10 years down the road, you'd like a happy memory. Would you miss it? Also .. is it pretty? Aside from the emotional context, does it fail to fit into your decor? Maybe you can tuck it away into storage, wait a while, and see if you still feel this way.

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score 0 · Answer 5

Great suggestions. I couldn't think of any specific wedding related non-profit that might use it other than thrift stores.

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score 3 · Answer 6

Honestly, I would toss it

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score 3 · Answer 7

Label it with the date of the wedding and donate it to any thrift store that also deals in vintage or antique items. If it means nothing to you, it is best not to have it around.

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score 3 · Answer 8

Donate it to an antique store or Goodwill or Salvation Army.

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Suggestions for what to do with Mom's framed flower bouquet from her first wedding?

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