I'm a hired caregiver, and now I wanna quit. Do I?

The relationship with her would improve if she was in an independent living situation and you visited frequently. It is easy for parents to take for granite the work their children do and only concentrate on the negative aspects. Separation for the two of you would improve the respect she would have for your efforts

Dear Faith Hope, I would give my notice. 2-4 weeks is reasonable amount of time. The son sounds reasonable and I would ask him for a letter of recommendation. If you have worked for other families, I would ask them too. Those letters goes a long way. You sound smart and caring and that is golden. I live in Massachusetts. You would have to have formal training to care for patients. They are called CPA, certified personal assistant. You will also learn how to protect yourself from an injury. Which is very important. You injure yourself and it may affect you for the rest of your life. This family you are working for are very foolish. If you hurt yourself, they are liable. I don't know how you can work 24/7. You are setting yourself up for burnout. You need at least a day for your self to do your own business. I have know live in that had 8 to 12 hours off on the weekend. When my mother was alive my family and I paid an agency to come in give my mother a shower and clean up her room and do her laundry. The main reason was my mother has 3 daughters and she refused to shower for us. Our agency girl was able to get my mother to get her to shower. As my mother got sicker we decided to have help 5 days a week. The agency set her hourly rate and we also had to pay an agency rate. But, I knew my girl had a formal education and we where not responsible. If I had some where to go on the weekend. I paid her time an half per hour. She was excellent!! She had one day off during the week and I wasn't so lucky. I would come home and saw things I did not like. I let 4 girls go. They were not interested in my mother. They where just passing the time to collect a check. I eventually had the agency to change my girl to fill the one day. I was very comfortable with her, when I went out I did not worry about my mother. My mother was on Hospice, my mother's health insurance paid for Hospice. I also was entitled to 16 hrs of help during the week. I did have them come on the weekends and they took good care of my mother. I could handle the other 16 hrs. I noticed the girls where spend too much time doing laundry. I had a regular washer and dryer. I got rid of them and purchased a larger washer and dryer which cut laundry time in half. I rather the girls spending more time with my mother. You can choose an agency, hospice or even a nursing home. But, NH are very busy and those girls work hard. But, you can have the opportunity to go to LPN school and still get paid 40 hrs a week. In return you would work 3-5 years for your employer. You would receive holiday, vacation, and sick time. They will put at least 2% into a 401k and you would have the opportunity to put 1-4% not taxed money into a retirement account. There are a lot more opportunities for you. My girl got an excellent recommendation from me and I gave her $500 in appreciation for what she did for my mother and also until she got another client. She was new to the business. The recommendation she got many jobs after working for my mother. I do believe they are keeping us a live too long. It is quantity but no quality of life. The drug companies are taking in the money. It is big business. I wish you the best. You deserve better!

Faith, first of all obtain a professional license. In NYS a CNA (certified nurses aide) takes five weeks. Some hospitals will give you on the job training. If you did not finish school you will need a GED.
Don't jump ship till you have something else lined up. You could even take classes while you are still in this job. It is unlikely that an agency will take you on without some form of certification. Even training as a LPN is only 10 months and you may be able to get grants for that.
Yes $3 sounds very little but if you are being paid under the table plus board that is really quite a decent income. When you work basically on standbye the pay will be much less than an active 8 hour day. i do not feel it is unreasonable to expect you to take on other chores especially related to your client. Appointments comes under that heading as does going on other outings such as shopping and other activities. You should expect to do clients laundry, keep hers and your quarters clean and cook for yourself and client. Plus wash any dishes pans etc you have used. if you know any other caregivers talk to them and you may find they have it harder than you.
I can go back and check your figures as I will loose this post but I think you said 92 hours at $3 and hour each week. if thats the case you recieve a cash payment of $14,352 a year in cash and about another $12,000 value in board and lodging. That is not that bad for a young single girl with no training. now i don't hink you should do it for more than a few years but it should allow you to save and decide where your life is going. And a spam stegman syas stop listening at keyholes, no one ever hears good of themselves evesdropping

This is absurd to me. That is what my sisters propose to pay me $3.00 an hour. The only reason is to reserve mom's resources so that when she passes, there is more left for them. And I completed a Master's degree two years ago, sisters filed a report on me to APS that was closed quite promptly, I was vindicated. Every job I have ever had required a background and credit check. Sisters vindictiveness may cost me the ability to ever work in my field or any other ever again.

Faith, find an agency to work for. You will make more money, have benefits, and the peace of mind that you are not being taken advantage of.

Caregiving involves a level of intimacy that other jobs don't have, so that might create an impression that different rules apply. But, really, it still is just a job.

In order that you can walk away with self respect, you could give them plenty of notice. If you think the standard two weeks isn't enough, then make it a month. Plus, you could help them find a replacement.

Just know that wherever you work -- whether a private home or an office -- there will be internal politics at play, lack of appreciation, tough assignments, pettiness, etc. In other words, human nature.

Good luck.

Find your next job, as Caretomuch suggests an agency maay be a better deal.
Finding a new job before quitting is a good way to manage your life. Take Control,

If this is a job that you find yourself really wanting to do, then I do suggest finding a good agency to work with. The agency will give you training that is required by every state. You can also get tons of training through organizations such as Alzheimer's Association and some agencies will give you specialized training and paid you while being trained! You will have to pass drug and criminal background checks and get fingerprinted. But, you will have the backing of the agency. You will have to keep daily logs of what transpires during the day with your client and you will get in some cases get to choose what type of client you want to work with, such as companion ship, dementia, alzheimers etc. Pay will vary according to the degree of work involved. As a professional caregiver you will know the history of the client. You will also be required to take them to doctor's visits, dental, vision, shopping, it all depends on the type of client you are assigned to. You can work with hourly, daily or live-in clients. So, hopefully this will help you get started.

Dear Faith, I wish I had you here to help me and live in my home! I would certainly pay you more than $3.00 an hour!
It hasn't gotten to the point where my husband needs 24 hour care.not yet..
But that will come.....marymember

FaithHope, Sound like you are very nice caring person. I'm paid live-in caregiver for 91 years old lady who is fall risk and start having incontinent..... I work 4 days(96hours) and another caregiver from agency for 3 days(72hours). My client's family are very understanding how hard to keep good caregivers to take care of their Mother at home, so they could carry on their life. I could not believe you are getting $3 a hour ( OMG this is 2014)... yes I made $3 in 1972 minimum wage at SNF..... If I'm you, I would give notice and go finding another job! Sorry I don't know how did you got your client or sometimes we couldn't have choice but have to take the jobs..... I'm in San Diego, I always have someone asking me to find the good caregiver, but I work for myself and my term. Whatever you do decide, best of luck!

Caregiver, we are living too long, very unnaturally extended lives that are enriching the drug companies while our parents and ultimately our selves turn in to the zombie apocalypse.

FaithHope, so sorry if you are mad at me. You are in a real quandary, and you are burned out. Save yourself and get out. You have learned some important lessons about getting the expectations in writing and learning the patient history in written form. Learn to keep a professional distance and not let comments made behind your back disturb your feelings. Listening to their private conversations will make you nuts, especially with a dementia patient.

It looks like she's getting $60 a day (3.00x19hr) plus room & board. The writing is a little confusing. So that's $1800 a month plus R&B if I read it right. No written expectations leading to bad feelings. No patient history, which should have been covered before she decided to take the job. This is what happens when you hire a non-agency with no written contract. Both sides get mad.

I must not have read that right.

You're not being paid $3.00/hour are you?

Also, professional caregivers do take their clients to Dr.'s appointments.

Good idea, quit, get out, and get a job that pays a decent wage.