Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
A
AlisaThomas1018 Asked April 2014

Need help managing my Mom's dementia. Any advice?

Also need help with advanced directive.

anonymous158299 Apr 2014
we are nuts 14,
i lived with an ocd wife for 20 yrs until i finally just broke.
the renter upstairs has my washer and dryer in her house. she offered to run my clothes anytime. i wasted an hour telling her why i did not want them folded. my clothes are in two long bins. i need recognizable stuff in there to choose from at a glance. " clean clothes have to be fo-wded, she smugly proclaimed. f-ed my system up . i never took them back for 7 months. again i wasted 5000 words telling her i just wanted them washed and dried and stuck in the basket. again they came back fo-wded. every time i pull some of this packed madness out a dryer sheet falls on the floor. im done. i dont want to even try explaining to this animal how i dont want stinking dryer sheets in my laundry, she'll only go get liquid softener. people are senseless creatures of habit and deluded to the eyeballs. ive built two homes and and endless stream of cars , trucks , motorcycle trikes , and a successful small business in my life while this dull eyed sob has been fo-wding clothes.

anonymous158299 Apr 2014
caregiver14,
lol. those " victims " are errily lucid.. madness = superhuman brilliance..

ADVERTISEMENT


anonymous158299 Apr 2014
my aunt rode to my house one day with me with a load of driveway stone. as i was shoveling off the truck she longingly said she just wished she could help. shes shoveled a lot of rock in her day living back a mile long lane. i was listening. the second time she said it i dropped some gravel directly under my feet , spread it out and gave her a shovel. she shoveled rock for 20 minutes and went home feeling usefull . im 55 , shes 90, trust me shes smarter than i am..

JessieBelle Apr 2014
Alisa, could you tell us a little more about your mother and what you need help managing. If she isn't seeing a doctor who specializes in geriatric medicine, make an appointment for her. Then the doctor can help your mother and you have a better quality life. Some people with dementia are easy to get along with. Others are not. Let us know a bit more about what is going on with her.

Is your mother still competent? If so, then get with an elder care attorney about advanced directives. Your mother will be able to assign POAs for finances and healthcare if she should become incompetent. She can also make decisions on conditions under which she should or should not be resuscitated. It will be nice to have these forms in place. If she is already incompetent, it will be too late for her to sign papers and you'll have to go a different route.

There is a wealth of information here on the site. Let us know more and I'm sure someone will be able to help with decisions to make.

anonymous158299 Apr 2014
as long as an elder has two brain cells to rub together , imo, a good doc will never declare them incompetent as , again imo , it should be. you dont manage them. you let them live out their days as they see fit and keep them safe and comfortable.
my aunt at 90 is nuttier'n squirrel crap and still has common sense that will shock your head -- if your listening..

pamstegma Apr 2014
Talk to her MD about a proper diagnosis and appropriate meds.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter