Older sibling, lives out of town. Only comes to town for financial info, nothing else. Advice?

What do you do when the sibling that doesn't want to help and rarely comes to town. Only comes to town to take over your Parents finances??? It is so strange how they will not tell her no. It's like they are afraid of hurting her feelings.

My Parents are both 87 and my middle sister past away last year. The oldest sibling will not come home for Christmas, Easter or any other events that are difficult for my Parents in light of this loss.

She has told her friends who have told me, she can't come home the memories are too difficult and yet she shows up with a mission to "get" Mom and Dad benefits. Which just happens to mean she will have access to all their financial information.

Her intensitiy tells me she has some ulterior motive. My Father will not allow me to talk to him about this. My Mother knows, however, she says Dad will not allow her to tell him either. I feel so helpless and so unappreciated for all I do. They tell me they couldn't survive without me and yet when this "out of state" sibling comes in town, everything is my fault and she can do no wrong.

I've asked them to leave me out of this and yet she always has some way of giving me orders to get her information. She tells Mom & Dad, I'm the problem and has them call me to get information. Since I can't talk to Dad, I just feel like I need to pull away.

She started pushing about their money abour 3 months ago and I'm pretty sure when she gets what she wants she will go back out of state, where she lives. She has no commitments that she has to return for. She just doesn't want to help.

I feel so helpless and sorta wish I could be as cold to Mom & Dad's needs as she is. It almost seems like they would treat me wish more respect.