How do you get help when your partner resists?

Maybe you can say you hired a "house cleaner", then let him get used to that. Of course my Dad can't remember his companion from day to day.. but he loves her! your husband sounds like my dad.. he can dress and eat if we put the clothes/ food out...His companion just keeps him occupied and we have her for 5 hours a day when I work.. gives my mom a bit of a break. He is used to her, even if he can;t remember her that evening!

Ask the partner what the fear or concern is about the outside help. For some people it is like admitting things are bad and getting worse, instead of being able to maintain a comfortable degree of denial; for others it is wanting to preseve privacy and/or avoid feeling ashamed, or fear of bad care, or guilt. But gently and persistently insisting it needs done before you burn out and can't keep doing it all yourself may be essential.

Call a local in home provider and talk about options. Possibly have a helper a couple of hours a day, one or twice a week, while you are there so your husband becomes familiar with them. Then you move on to leaving for a couple of hours and move forward til you have a day or two to yourself. It will make you a more relaxed and less stressed caregiver.

Sometimes it is hard to be the adult and make decisions that are in your own best interest. Best of luck.

My husband is border-line competent, meaning he can still dress, feed and toilet himself. He cannot drive, make out a check, make decisions, perform tasks with more than one step. He has forgotten all of his business expertise and all time and events are a jumble. As sole caregiver at the moment, I need a break now and then, but I cannot bring in a stranger yet. Family helps sporadically. Jojosky40 is probably in a similar situation. I am interested in all ideas and suggestions.

Who is needing help?

That all depends on what you mean by "help"

This question is so open-ended I cannot accurately answer it. I will say, no one can force another to do something they do not want (unless one has a gun to their head, which I do not recommend). If the person has dementia (which is what this forum is about), then all bets are off. Explain in more detail please.

This is a good question. We can often hear that we need to bring help in or we need to move our care receiver to assisted living. However, if the person says no to all the different options, there is little we can do if they are still competent. We can only make decisions on what we personally can do. Tell us a bit more and someone may have some good ideas.