Mom has dementia. I thought it was short term memory affected. Any answers?

Yes I see my mom worrying over things that she never worried about before. She cannot remember where to put pots, pans, etc. She is clean, showers every day to every other day, I color her hair. She does make up some stories that she really believes. I try to tell her what is going on but she still does not believe me. She sleeps too much, because I think she is very depressed because she knows what is going on with her brain. She cries alot. I tend to lose my temper and I feel really awful as I am not a bad person. I try very hard and on the most part I am calm around her. Does anyone else who takes care their parent lose their temper?
I pray about this every day.

Dementia affects my mother in so many ways. Its a horrible thing. Repeating herself was just the start of it several years ago. Then she became paranoid over things she believed were made in China - stripping her bed, removing the mattress pad, etc. She does weird things like putting her clothes in a pile on the closet floor and not knowing why, removing holiday knick knacks and decorations and putting them in a drawer, forgetting what season it is, throwing away her underwear, wearing the same outfit every day for weeks and not noticing it is filthy, not remembering anything that was said or what she did two minutes ago. It has now progressed to the point she doesn't even wash herself, laxative abuse, inability to use any appliance including the microwave, dishwasher and washing machine, paranoia that the housekeeper is stealing her clothes, people are after her money, trying to balance her checkbook for hours (its just a small personal account with a few dollars in it - I do the rest from another account) Yet, on the other hand, she is fiercely independent, refused to move to assisted living, always remembers to put on her makeup and get her hair done once a week, etc. Its a terrible thing.

I nodded at everything Pam said. It fit my mother to a t. My mother has memory loss, but it isn't such a problem as her confusion and loss of reasoning ability. She has never been an organized person, so I can't say she has forgotten where things go -- they usually went wherever she set them down. That has stayed the same. :) She has become to carry things away and not bring them back -- like cups or silverware. She leaves them in the yard or under her table. I have to collect things and bring them back.

My advice would be to learn all you can about dementia. If a specific type of dementia has been identified for your mom, learn about that. Not all types of dementia have the same symptoms, or in the same order.

Join a caregivers support group for those whose loved ones have dementia.

Pam has given you a good list of some of the symptoms that often come early. In Lewy Body Dementia, hallucinations and delusions can be early signs. Problems with depth perception may be present. Total loss of smell is common in Alzheimer's and LBD. Loss of good judgement and behavioral issues may be more prominent than memory issues in some kinds of dementia.

The term "memory care facility" perpetuates the idea that dementia is mostly about memory. That is understandable, but not quite accurate.

Short term memory is just the part we notice most. Mom may be forgetting to pay bills. She will forget how things work. The first thing we noticed with Mom was that she could not figure out her sewing machine. Then she said she could not get the car out of park. Her remote for the TV frequently "malfunctioned" the oven would "get too hot". Look for scorch marks on the pans and stovetop. Count her pills and see if there are too many or not enough from the date the script was filled. Mom would take bills she didn't like and put them on the "paid" stack. She especially hated water bills, property taxes and medical bills. Other bills got paid twice. She could not follow a recipe. She would forget about food in the fridge and it got rotten. She stopped getting the paper, because she could not read it anymore, could not clip the coupons or understand them. She bought the same canned goods over and over; the cupboards were overflowing. She had pasta and dried beans with bugs in them, but she couldn't see them. She stopped using the dishwasher because she couldn't remember how. Lots and lots of little things to look for.