mom was put in there for rehab, for a broken hip, she has a touch of dementia can only walk with a walker my sister is P.O.A. and they have depleted all her savings,
the next step is to sell her home, she says her home is paid for and cries profusely that she worked all her life, and she wants to die at home, its hard to see my mother this upset, my sister that is P.O.A. is cold hearten and is cut and dry no!
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Give her coconut oil, milk, water, coconut products. We make a cereal with coconut milk and water and oil, Quinoa, Steel-cut oats and brown rice (organic if possible) and dried fruit (raisins/craisins/prunes/apricots,coconut) nuts, vanilla, cinnamon and fresh apples just core and chop, don't peel, and put in last so they're not mushed... Delicious, fiber, protein, comforting, and healthy for her heart like nothing else. Give tryptophan and melatonin, chamomile, valerian for sleeping - there's a great blend called Alteril, and melatonin is at my Dollar store believe it or not. Keep engaged during the day, Exercise is vital and Sunshine to avoid sundowning, keep their clock better... Vitamin D, B-12, let's see, I know there is more, oh, NO Statins for Cholesterol, they rot the brain way fast... Let's face it they're in their 80's - I feed them whole grain breads only, lots of veggies and fruits, healthy snacks like fruit with cottage cheese or yogurt, dip apple wedges in peanut butter, make popsicles from Boost/Ensure, etc... Don't feed a sugar monster - Alzheimer's is getting known as Diabetes type 3.
Hydration could Not be More important - Nobody drinks enough, but especially the elderly, being embarrassed about incontinence and they get a UTI and are more than usually confused and it's chronic. They don't feel thirst like we do.
Music, especially Hemi-sync you will find on Youtube it's music to sync the brain to sleep waves, and it Works to wake refreshed. Just Try it on Yourself!
In FL we have a transportation for seniors called TOPS and they take anyone with Medicare one way within the county for $3.50. Wheelchair lift and all, for necessary transport which includes adult daycare, doctor offices, organized activities for the elderly at community/senior center, etc.
Those are all options that don't take her Away from her home, but Do provide safe haven for mom.
Perhaps a nursing student is in school &/or working part-time, and can be in the home with mom in the evening or a Retired nurse, or one that's working maybe 3 days 12 hours, as some do now.... S/he would have time and skills to care for mom at home - or a C.N.A or home health aide - even just a lady who is compassionate with her and has a day job but barely getting by, would be fine without rent and utilities to pay, and the house expense (taxes, insurance, maintenance, utilities) go on regardless if you keep the house...
I keep the house of a Resident going because the children of the depression are really not keen on "losing their home" and it's a great sense of pride and safety that they Have that home... So I pay taxes and insurance and rent it for the amount he Can Get to Not mess up his Medicaid. Not worth it to have the headache and responsibility for the couple hundred a month it makes up for his short income - but he's family now after nearly 5 years, so I do it for Tony... He knows he can't live there, and he lost his ladyfriend he wanted to "leave it to" so now I'm all the "family" Tony has around here...
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Secondly, think very seriously about the comittment to care for mom at home, particularly is she has a tendency to be non compliant with doctors orders. This is only the beginning, it gets nmore challenging
In addition to discussing her rehabilitation from the broken hip with the rehab facility and Ziggie urges you, I also suggest talking about the dementia with a suitable professional. Try to get a handle on what you can expect.
My mother currently is in a nursing home with a broken hip and increasing signs of dementia. My heart goes out to your entire family! This is heart breaking. Try to set your own emotional response aside and think through what will be best for Mother.
I know how difficult it is to watch your mom cry that she wants to go home. Be there for her, comfort her. Talk to the social worker at the rehab about how you're feeling. I think almost every adult child in your situation goes through what you are going through. I did.
And like someone said, there is in-home help but it's expensive. If your mom can afford it that might be an option for her. But I've never seen any elderly person bounce all the way back from a broken hip. Your mom might need around-the-clock care/supervision.
Again, I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
My heart goes out to you as this is so emotional for all involved. Unfortunately, there are no other options if money has run out. Unless she goes to live with one of her children; arrangements have to be made for her care.
As for the funding, if Mom was married to a wartime veteran, they will help pay for her care through VA Aid and Attendance. Check va.gov for info.