Very dear friend supposedly under Hospice care but not receiving decent care, what can I do?

Squaw, you are a good friend. Once a nurse...

Significant other has completely taken over her care now and hired a CNA to come in every day to see to her needs...such a relief! Yes she does need a higher level of care, but was told she only has days to weeks left so she wanted to be at home...sorry everybody I guess the "nurse" in me came out!!

She needs a higher level of care. Can you as her friend do a list of NH and then give that list to her family?

As an LVN, what is your take on what type of needs for her? Your thoughts on what her med's are like, any schedule 1 or 2's?? Is she a physically big lady? If she is a big lady, she will likely need a hoist and that means a specialty bedding situation which most bigger hospice group can order but usually they can't go into a residential situation (which could be good as it bolsters the reason to place her in a facility).

The current caregivers could be clueless rather than evil. They don't see an issue with someone sitting in a wheelchair all day. What is your take on them?

hospice nurse implied that her first choice for moms care would have been sis and / or niece . yea. back to planet earth lady, they bailed. what you want isnt always what you get. you cant strongarm people to do things as you see fit. jump in there and lead by example.. hospice were angelic in their actions - for one hour a day then it was back to just the 5 of us. me , mom , dementia , phsycosis and bipolar cycling ..

It sounds like this poor lady needs a higher level of care. Can you talk to her son, gently, as Pam says?

You are a good soul to visit, so many turn away. So many children take on this charge without a clue what they are getting in to. If you know her minister, encourage him to visit. Encourage friends who are closer to visit and check up on her. Maybe even talk to the son about hiring professional care and not leave it up to someone with no clue what to do. Gently of course.

While I was there, I made sure she had something to eat (even left her some cheese crackers for later) and I gave her the meds she should have gotten much earlier. Unfortunately, she requires several people to lift her or I would have at least assisted getting her into her bed.
She is having severe feelings of uselessness and being a burden...I could only do so much! I feel horrible that she doesn't live near me, or I would definitely be doing more to help!

Why didn't you help feed her? Why didn't you put her to bed? You could have given a lot of helpful instruction to a rookie, you have experience. Can the patient no longer eat? What did you do for 1:15? Please give us more details.