Oh my gosh, I sure hope not. I am hoping that the next generation after our elderly parents are taking notes because retirement and slowing down seems to be coming at us at a fast clip.
At 68 years old, I know I am not quite ready for a retirement village this year even though they look very inviting. Currently I can hire people to do the yard work, do repair work, and cleaning people as I am becoming lazy because I am too tired physically and emotionally dealing with my aging parents who still live in their own 3 story single family home.
I know I want to be around people of my own generation, not stuck in a neighborhood as nice as it is with nothing in common with my neighbors.... I don't want my neighbors to feel they have to watch over me when it snows and feel they have to shovel my driveway, or bring up my newspaper, or bring up my rubbish barrel.... I don't want to depend on others to get my groceries, or take me to my doctor appointments, or take me shopping, etc.... and I don't want to feel alone if my mate should become ill and is no longer at home.
I am so glad I have been fugal all my life, started saving money when I was 5 years old and had my own saving account. I plan to find the best possible retirement community that money can buy and enjoy my life. Not be an emotional burden on others. I have learn so much what NOT to do from my parents.
Today I gave my parents a booklet on a 5-star retirement community that I know they can afford. Dad said that will be good in case they need to move in the next couple of years.... HELLO... you are 92 and 96..... move in while you can enjoy everything the place has to offer. And maybe for once I would get a good night sleep instead of laying away worrying about them.
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Shakingdustoff, in my area this 5-star retirement community is great, they have independent living buildings with a choice of 20 different styled condos, some condos up to 2,000 sqft.... then if the time comes you can't care for your self, you can move into what is called "Continuing Care", which is part of the same complex, and you still have access to all the amenities if you are mobile. The group that owns and runs these complex is Erickson Living, which also in some other States.
I don't want my significant other's daughter have to be on an elder care websites, at midnight, looking for help or to vent her frustrations.
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Well, Dad, that person described would be me.
I seriously believe that our parent(s) still think we are 25 years old with the same energy of a 25 year old..... OMG, reality check, that ship had sailed a few years ago.
By the time they were my age (early 50's) both their parents had passed away and their kids were grown and moved away.. and they were having a great time. My dad retired at 55 and my mom at 62.. they are now in thier early 80's. Up until the last couple of years they have had an awesome retirement.. traveling, playing, relaxing..great health. I don't see that in the cards for me.
Also.. I have no kids so when I get to be their age.. i won't have anyone to give up their life for me.. i will be on my own completely. I am realizing that i need to have a plan and be more organised so I know where i want to go when the time comes.
Lol at the 96 year old who is going to wait to move into a retirement village.. someday. I feel for you freqflyer .. you are at the age when you should be retired yourself .. and planning for your own old age.
Trying to get my parents to do something similar is like pulling teeth. They have a Will and POA's but the paperwork is very out of date, and the Will will be a probate minefield if not changed to a Trust, and if the POA's are not updated.
I am hoping the past 48 hours will be a wake up call for my parents, then again, maybe not. Dad [92] was taken to ER by the EMT's when he fell backwards on his driveway and banged up his head. Yep, driveway, they are still in their single family house.
Anywho, Dad had to stay overnight at the hospital. Today I told Dad I shouldn't be making decision for him as I am not his medical POA, Mom is.... but my Mom [96] has lost most of her hearing and most of her eye sight from age relate decline. She didn't come to the hospital because the walk from the entrance to Dad's room would have been too much for her.... and you couldn't get her into a wheelchair, my gosh someone might see her.... [sigh]. Only then did Dad realized that it would be very difficult for Mom. He agreed he needs to see an attorney. I am keeping my fingers crossed that will actually accept an appointment with an Elder Law attorney, something he should have done 10 years ago.
Yes, the ups and downs of the last year have been draining and unsettling. Dealing with mother is usually more difficult rather than less. I am finding that the geriatric psychiatric hospital staff do not understand Borderline Personality Disorder very well. Oh dear, they will learn.
FF - I think they think we are bullet proof. NOT!!!
amy - sounds like you need some regular outside help. What you are doing is too much.
cm - where do you go for answers? It seems you are finding some in that book by Christine Lawson. Don't even try to get her to understand. I don't think your efforts will pay off. Sure you can help it. You won't be like her... Answers about what to do? Post more specific questions re cycle breaking, if that is your main concern. (((((hugs)))
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