I can afford outside help. She has demetia, is 92, takes no medication, is physically healthy, very cooperative and pleasant to be around. She is incontinent. The home she is in is better than most, but her care is just not the best. I am widowed and have room for her. I work from my home and sporatically outside the home, but she has enough income to pay for care when I cannot be here or if I want to go out. I am a very capable person and I have a way with her......I am moved by spirit to make her last years happier.
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If you are at the NH to monitor her care then you'll see and hear everything..
Stay overnight at the NH for several nights and you'll realize that the professionals at the NH know what they are doing.
24/7 care if very demanding and I understand you are only 60 but she could live into her 100's and you'll also be aging.
She is starting to have trouble swallowing and when I really think long and hard about this, she will need skilled nursing care more in the future. She is not physically ill, except for dementia, but that will start to cause more physical problems for her. So I will keep her where she is, visit often, keep my eye on her care, see if her aids were insured, communicate with the staff and try to let my mother know that I love her in spite of it all. It is not about what kind of person she was. It is about what kind of person I want to be.
Pandoralou, I urge you to consult Emjo. Do not, in any circumstances, invite your mother over your threshold. Enjoy her all-new personality in the NH instead. God bless you for being such a loving daughter.
Don't move her in with you.
after caregiving for both my parents 2 1/2 years, yes the answers given do point out the risks/negatives that can and do occur HOWEVER it is my humble opinion that you should follow your heart. Do it and give it your best for as long as you can. You may find it is a lifestyle change or it is a commitment that is more than you can handle. You can return her to her current situation if in time it has to go back to it. Then you will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were open to the spirit and will make up your own mind...Just pray for the patience, courage and strength because each day will present it trials and tribulations. The love you have will be tested as you follow your heart however it sounds like you are ready to try and it may be a blessing for your mother and you to experience for a period together.. GraceofGod
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