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missmel Asked May 2014

What to do when I'm getting no help from nursing home?

So I have had issues with the NH my mom is in, there are a lot of issues and recently I had to get my attorney involved and now the NH is causing a lot of issues examples, forgetting to feed her, laughing at her, have taken her call light away and now she has a lid and spoon to bang on, just to name a few. The staff has told other patients about her and well I am worried about her. I live in another state and fair for her. She is a royal pain in the a** and has a lot of options to voice, but still if they want her gone I was told they need to help me find a place for her. They refuse to call me and communicate with me since I had someone to check on them. What do I do if they will not work with me to get her moved, I have called everyone and no one will call me back or help me, what do I do

TammieLee May 2014
So what you should do is visit potential homes where you are moving her to, research them and do Google searches, talk to families who happen to be there visiting.

missmel May 2014
i have thought about everything you have said. The director of the NH was the one that called me and said she has to go, come get her, I only want to help everyone involved my mom to another place away from where she is at. She has a pot lie and spoon to bang on for attention as they took away the call button because she has issues . The director avoids me and refuses to call me back, I have heard nothing since the rude phone call I got. I said I was calling my attorney she said bring it. wow not , I had the ombudsman in and well the Nh is trying to cover there a**es. From what I am seen of the place its a mess, they have lied about a lot of things so what to believe I do not know. I saw a gentleman who had wet his pants still there for hours before they changed him a grown man crying because of wet pants how sad, and the nurse said He can sit in those d*mn pants I gone give a s**t
wow!!!! She had no idea I heard her say it. I am sick .

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TammieLee May 2014
Have you spoke with the director of the nursing home? She will be who supervises the nurses and the aids, you could even have a conference call with the director and the primary nurse. I ask this because you are only getting one side of the story. If I were to listen to my mothers stories (which are always lies) I would hate all the staff that ever looked after her despite the fact she has had the best home care workers on earth. Ask yourself, how would your mom know that the staff is talking about her to other patients? How do you know they forgot to feed her? Did she maybe eat and forgot she did? I would get all sides of the story before moving her because if you do go through the pain of moving her these same issues are going to happen again at the new facility. If your child is having issues at school do you deal with it? Or keep switching schools. Don't be manipulated

pamstegma May 2014
missmel, you live far away and your mother of course it trying to manipulate you, with reports that sound pretty bizarre and paranoid. You posted previously that she "tried to end her life last night" which is more indication of her psychosis. Now with lawyers involved, the care facility is backed into a corner and will only communicate from their lawyer to your lawyer to you. So don't bother to call them, now you have to call your lawyer and that gets horribly expensive. You indicate mom has bounced through several nursing homes, and I am afraid at this point her next stop will be a psychiatric center. You have done all you could, but accept that it is inevitable.

GardenArtist May 2014
Have you been able to locate an ombudsman in NH? What did the attorney do and/or recommend?

I would start looking for another facility immediately. This one sounds abusive and neglectful.

After you've moved your mother, file complaints against the nursing home.

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