My mother is in her 90's and even with hearing aids, I have to almost shout at her. With dementia, I also have to repeat myself many times. Its very stressful but I only deal with that a few times a week.
Now my husband is going deaf - he has known it for two years and has promised to get hearing aids for TWO YEARS. He does not have dementia, is only in his 70's. He is the king of procrastinators. I have tried being nice, persuasive, telling how he appears to others, how it affect me, begging, getting angry - all to no avail.
Now I am mostly angry, and I don't want to be. I love him dearly, but having to repeat 80% of what I say is really getting to me. Its especially hard because he blames ME! I don't talk loud enough, I mumble, I talk with my back to him. etc etc - always that I am the one who is wrong - and you all know how that feels, being blamed for something you didn't do! The tv is always too loud, I have to ask him to turn it down - he gets annoyed. He doesn't hear in restaurants, I have to repeat everything the waitress says to him. He doesn't catch half of what is said in meetings. It makes him look senile - and he isn't. He is just deaf and too lazy to do anything about it but he has plenty of time to play on the computer and do other stuff. I don't like being annoyed and grouchy at him, but this is getting worse, not better. HELP!
3 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
good luck! "if you cant see you wear glasses,so if you cant hear why not wear a hearing aid?".
they have no idea how stressful this can be on people around them as for me I refuse to speak to mum unless she puts hers on and will not let her out without it.
Rest assured, there is nothing wrong with you. You husband just needs a push in the right direction.
ADVERTISEMENT
Don't cater to him anymore. Don't repeat yourself, don't turn sideways, say things just once and let them go. He'll probably get mad, but at least you won't be compensating for his refusal to get aids. And as long as people compensate for him, that refusal will continue.
There's a safety factor though. If he still drives he may not hear ambulances or emergency vehicles. And hearing is according to one neurologist who spoke at an AAA Expo one of the primary faculties required to help seniors maintain balance and avoid falls.
I was told by some friends that Radio Shack sells some headphones that can be used by the hard of hearing so that the tv doesn't have to be so loud.
Guys get stubborn about these things and from my experience won't change until they're ready to.