Hi all, Brad here--
New to the forum but am wondering if anyone has dealt with anxiety in caring for their parent(s). In my case it's Alzheimer's related (9 years in), but I'm curious to see if others are experiencing the same thing and what their approach is.
Thanks in advance--
B
30 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
ADVERTISEMENT
I was told to tell my 22 year old daughter goodbye, turn and face her and tell her goodbye now, because if I tried to go back to the house and continue doing what I was doing I would die of a heart attack or stroke.
I called my younger sister and we moved within the next day or so. I thought I was very strong and able to handle anything, but you literally cannot do this job alone. If you are currently taking medication, there is a problem that needs to be addressed IMMEDIATELY! I have had to leave my only home and I am currently under medication to try and get my health back on track. I have no one and no money to take care of ME now that my health is broken.
I thought I was being a wonderful child by giving so much of myself to my parents and now I am sitting here broke and broken, trying to heal and not knowing what the next step will be,
You need immediate help for you and your Mom, or you will find yourself possibly sitting right where I am. The funny thing is I cannot even afford Senior Housing! So do I wind up becoming a person living on the streets?
Call her doctor and speak to him and if you don't get a good answer and help, find another doctor. There is trouble in the making! Don't turn into me!
If you manage to do this just 20 minutes a day, you would definitely feel the difference in your ability to take care of your parents. The existing situation is not going to change (your parents do have an ailment that needs your constant attention) however devoting a fixed time for yourself each day would make you more accepting of the situation.
Take care, god bless...
The Hyland's helps with insomnia also - no side effects so far! It's worth a try.
Our latest anxious episode concerned what he should do if he could not collect a specimen from a bowel movement in the middle of the night. He had dreamed up a trip to the Dr. who he thought had asked for this. The Similisan helped him believe that it was not necessary. Phew!!
Good luck!
Why can't someone else take over . Ativan works
A write things down. If I go out for a couple hours I write a note, each time, "Shopping, back at 6pm with dinner...limit snacking" He has little short term memory, likes to know where I am, so when he forgets, he looks at the note. Also I do this on a regular schedule. I leave him with cut up fruit, a SoBe coconut drink, a protein bar, and set the TV for America's Funniest Videos (makes him laugh) or a funny movie. So far so good, although the MD says soon he will not be able to be left alone.
Keep in mind what it would be to suddenly not know what, who or where you are multiple times a day. Or to realize that you have just spent who knows how long without a thought in your head (like waking for anesthesia).
Refined Sugar and Caffeine should be reduced or eliminated (if you stop drinking caffeinated coffee you will likely have a headache for a day or too).
If it's you...I'd say also take some time every day to meditate, if you don't know how you can google it and there are several Technics that are very easy and good...takes about 20 minutes twice a day, and you can do breathing exercises during the day that only take a couple of minutes when you feel overwhelmed or anxious.
Exercise also helps a great deal also.
As far as the dementia goes, if it is fairly advanced these things may not work so well and drug therapy is your only and best route.
Addictive drugs are not going to matter for the patient, because they have a terminal illness it isn't an issue...if it's you then it might be an issue.
Best course of action is visit your Dr and see what the options are.
My mom sees a neurologist and we are currently working on finding the right combination for my mom...so far we have not been able to effect the anxiety but have lessened her aggressive behavior that was in combination with her Anxiety.
It is a process.
I wish you luck and hopefully some of the suggestions will be helpful.
On the issue of a dementia parent who suffers from anxiety, I would say my father---who has ALWAYS been a worry wart---is the reigning King of Angst.
It's easy to become inpatient and weary of this--especially when the "cause" for all this OCD/anxiety changes from day to day. And by the time you think you have "soothed the savage beast" of fear-driven anxiety, they forget: (1) that you ever brought them comfort about that one particular obsession (so that they get anxious all over again) or (2) the obsession itself. By then they are on to a new angst.
Who can keep up? I surely can't. It is oh so very waring. Only God's grace keeps me from going completely mad!
She also is extremely anxious when something goes wrong and she has to depend time in a hospital or nursing home. That anxiety I can understand.
We've tried Ativan, but it makes her so sleepy, but sometimes its necessary.
Getting out of your self is another good way, considering that you also suffer anxiety-how could you not???
I am unclear as well. Are you the one experiencing anxiety or is it your parent?
I think that anxiety is fairly common in dementia. Sometimes a drug can help relieve it. Have you discussed this with your parent's doctor?