My mother has been mentally disabled since I was 9, I am now 45. She was struck by a drunk driver and left with severe brain damage. I avoided child protective services taking me from her my entire childhood. She has never been a mother to me, but more a someone I felt the need to care for. A couple years ago it was clear that she needed to be placed in a home. She suffered a stroke and mentally can no longer care for herself. Her short term memory is non existent. Long story short, she is very young (65), and relatively healthy. She has many more years ahead of her. Brain injury patience are difficult, bad behavior, anger, paranoid etc. Her assisted living home is going out of business and no one will take her, as she is on state assistance. I have been told today that I have to find a home for her or she must live with me. If I don't, they say that have they will call a cab, deliver her to my address and I will face state charges for from APS (adult protective services). No home wants her...she is very difficult, and state funded homes don't have to take anyone they don't want to. This may sound callus, but I have given my life to this person, paid her bills,cared for her, etc. Mentally, emotionally, I am done. I want to enjoy some part of my life, or go on a vacation. I have children and I husband of my own that have always taken a back seat to our situation and been happy to do it. I am not her legal guardian, that I know of...the state has a lot of paper work, but I never recall claiming to be her guardian, I have never filed any paper work with the courts to do so. Do I have any rights? I did not sign up for this. 35 years is a long time to be a caregiver. Can anyone help?
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I agree with the above suggestions. A lawyer would be your best bet at this time and I highly doubt that the home where your mom is now can put her in a cab and direct the cab to your house. Talk about neglect! And they say YOU would be in trouble!?
My only suggestions would be to contact a lawyer experienced in elder care and social services for your area or state. I know there is a process to turn guardianship of adults over to the state. You might try on online search for that. Good luck.
Even in states that have fiduciary laws they do not require a child to allow the parent to live in the child's house.
I am so very, very sorry for the tragic car accident that left your mother in this condition. I am so sorry that after that point you did not have a mother to nurture and guide you. This is Not Your Mother's Fault. It is also Not Your Fault. You have given of yourself for many years. Continue to love her, and after the state finds a suitable home for her, continue to advocate on her behalf. Don't think of abandoning her. But now it is time to turn your attention to your own family, and your own needs and health.
See a lawyer.