She has a car and goes to lunch each day but she won't go to the senior center and interact. What would be the best way to handle her frustration. When I do go to visit after four or five hours with her I'll say mom I Need to go and she'll say things like please don't go or I miss you already so I feel guilty and stay the rest of the day but the I don't want to go back because it becomes an all day affair. I want her to get involved with the senior centers and spend time with friend her own age. She does go to bunco once a month and a book club once a month but she won't get more involved so she doesn't get so lonely. She lives out in the country and my nephew lives on the property with his kids and they are always there visiting but she constantly is calling me and I just don't have the time to entertain her all the time. Should I feel responsible to maintain her emotional well being by always being there. ?
2 Answers
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Your mother did a good job of raising you to be an independent adult. It is time to live your own life. Certainly visit her. But not to the point of having it interfere with your life and because you are being manipulated through guilt.
You are not responsible for her social life, but you are enabling her to depend on you for that. She plays bunco. She belongs to a book club. She is capable of finding her own social activities. Encourage her to do so, but stop rescuing her when she refuses.
The time may come when she can no longer arrange her own social life, when she can't drive, when she perhaps has some cognitive impairments. Cross that bridge if you come to it. For now, stop enabling her to depend on you for company. It isn't healthy.
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