How to be 24/7 caregiver and not put your family on the back burner?

Stand up to your mom. Yes. I have one that would try to put all kinds of guilt trips on me, but I just keep walking.

Just what is your mom's long term plans? To just lean on you, for the rest of her life? You cannot cure her panic attacks. She needs to see a psychiatrist.

I am telling you, PLEASE, do not under any circumstances miss the birth of your grandchild or the following week when your daughter may need you and you can enjoy the family that you helped to create. I don't mean to quote a Dr. Phil"ism", but life is not a dress rehearsal. These are precious moments to share with your children in whatever capacity they share it with you. You say you are not an only child. This is certainly a time for siblings to step up, and if not, however hurtful, your mom WILL be fine. Realistically consider what she is able to do, and if some of those are currently handled by you no doubt from a place of love and making it nice. Is she really able to do those things herself?
You have a defining moment in your life that is approaching and deserve to fully participate and enjoy it. This is your life. Please take that into account before saying no to something you might miss out on and regret later.

Curious, is your Mother bedridden, thus the reason she needs help with everything?

I can understand the panic fits, that happened to me when I was diagnosed with cancer, and even four years later and being in remission, I don't like being alone for more than a couple of days. It's all part of a new *normal* I have to deal with.

Honestly, unless everybody lives with you, I don't see how that is possible. I been "part time", now full time, actually up to 18 hours a day caregiving. Now Im trying to scale that back to part so I can be with the rest of my family and look for work.

You have your hands full and your answer to them is familiar, "sorry I can't I have to stay here with mom". ( but mine is grandfather) Its not easy Im sorry your handling so much right now. Others will know better how to help you, and for some maybe they were able to handle 24/7 as you and can give you advice. I can offer my advice of getting some more help in, maybe even a close friend of your moms to make her feel at ease when you are gone. You need to talk with your mom and hire someone to help. I know, easier said then done esp if they do not want anyone.

Congratulations on your soon to be grandchild! I wish you luck and the answer to your situation