How to get my Mom to move legally?

Librasun, you have gone far beyond any obligation you might have - but someone who does not understand or want loving help makes their choices and is responsible for them. Not you. Take care of your family - it would be horrible to expose your children to someone like your mother. If your mother cannot live independently then adult protective services should be able to arrange for a public guardian for her. It is not really your responsibility now, since you did try.

Thank you so very much. Sometimes I myself feel it is a inner battle. I love my mom.No matter what.Although there is this part that always held hope. As a child i seen a pattern she always had one person in particular that she would say was mean or was hurting her. She would cry and i remember crying and saying mommy why are you sad. Then my brother in law and sister moved in our home. I didnt really know my sister before then. He husband abused me.When i ran to my mom she turned on me and saud i caused it and said terrible things i will not even repeat. I kept all of that in because she said no one believe me. I was 11years old. Now i see and feel all of those feelings all over again. It opened things within myself i havent ever opened or touched. I just cant imagine how she could lie about abuse. I cant believe i put myself and more importantly my family in this position. Age does not mean the person has changed.Though age has shown me not all will ever be as it should and somethings just have to be done no matter how much it hurts for the greater good. I had no control back then i was a child but i refuse to give that pain and confusion another dy. This group has made me feel better by freeing those feelings without worry.

Librasun, you came to the right place for support, So many of us on here have had parents that were less than loving. Yours sounds like she may have even crossed the line to evil. She may be waning congitively too, and/or frightened and just desperate to make sure she is taken care of; with no idea of what real love and trust is about, sadly, she is trying to get that level of security she craves by cruelty and manipulation. Though she might ultimately fail at painting you as the bad guys, someone out there is liable to fall for it at least temporarily, so your recording and documenting her actions, behaviors and statements in any reasonable way might be a huge help. Usually when APS and senior services get called for phony abuse and neglect reports it is pretty obvious to them when it is not the case. They may even suggest a geropsychiatric evaluation and placement if her accusations border on delusional...i.e. she really seems to believe them.

Everyone I know with a parent even remotely like this seems to keep hoping beyond all reason that somehow they will give back some of the love that should be there, someday, somehow, and maybe there is something we could do or could have done to make it so. It's a heartache. When you watch other families where people behave normally and care about each other, it gives you a good feeling because it validates that there is another way to live - you can realize it wasn't you, it was them, and you can choose to live a better way; but also a sad feeling because you realize what could have been instead of what you have to live with. You are right to protect your children from it, and it sounds like you are getting the authorities on your side. The only other consideration is filial responsibility law, but the other siblings would be involved in that as well as you, and most states that have these have exceptions for abusive parents. She may become unable to live independently if she isn't already, and asking adult protective or senior services peole in advance about options for supported living and guardianship for her should that occur might also be wise.

You sound like a strong person dealing with a hard problem as well and as honorably as possible.

Thank you i found out must go to court houst pay$300.And wait 30days.This is going to be a hard month but i have to. Then the police can come as she moves so there is no problems.

You can't help you mom if she doesn't want to admit she has a problem. If you own the home, start the eviction process by calling the police. She isn't paying rent. Who cares if she is a gray haired old lady? She is full of poison like a snake. She just might try to trash the house if she really thinks you mean it. It may take 6 months to evict her, but well worth it. If you truly need an attorney, borrow the money. Money well spent. Then sell the house. This has been going on your whole life. I get that you still want her approval, but she isn't capable of doing so. It's not you, it's her.

She originally said if we could help her with a deposit for a one bedroom apartment but then its give me 10000 or she won't leave and she will make my life h*ll. Can you do a eviction paper and process yourself or do you have to pay a lawyer? Finances are tight here.

The thing is she had 7children from 4marriages. I my siblings were all grown except 2.Some of i have never even met because they have nothing to do with her. I was always the husband so to speak because i did everything for her. And i moved away for 5years but when she said she was going to lose everything she just wanted a small apartment where she could start fresh i really thought getting to this point of life she had calmed down. I really just thought she was sincere finally for once. Then she began to do bizarre things. She had went to the er didnt tell me she was going said she was going for a haircut. When she hadn't came home i tried calling her. She didn't answer the phone i went searching for her. Then i when i found her vehicle at the hospital when i went in she said in front of the nurse that my husband and i wouldn't even bring her to the hospital when she was having chest pains. I said that's not true mom and the nurse looked at me like i had three heads. They kept her overnight for observation and when she came home she said no one cares if she lives or dies which is most certainly not the case. She said took care of my bastard father and went in complete rage.my dad has been gone for 7years. Then the police started these wellness checks and said no one could get ahold of my mother. I said well we do not have a house phone but we all have cell phones including her. And she had been complaining no one had called. Well the thing was when the police would come and leave she would act like she didn't know why they were coming then after them coming a total of 5times she got in a rage and said that's right i didn't charge my phone because i do not want to talk to anyone. So then one day im coming home from a end of school function and their is a lady and two police men at my door i pulled in to she what was going on and they said she is from senior services and needed to talk to my mother. Ok so i get my mom and said there is someone here for you she said i cant talk infront of them.i was so upset i felt like what the heck. I love hee but i do not understand why she is doing this. She calls my kids a**holes and they are 5&10. She threw a glass cookie jar at me and went completely off. Its like living on eggshells. I do not want her here anymore but when i tried to get help it seems im getting no where. She said im a little old lady whos going to believe you. She can turn it off and on

I was quit claimed on then waited 3months then refinanced. Her name was quit claimed off. I thought i was doing the right thing. How do i evict with her age? I do not want her on the street. I told her we would help her find a place.

You bought the house from her? So it would not be foreclosed? Is that the situation? How much did you pay? Something like $1 to get the title transferred to you? Or did you refinance it with a bank? Did you take over her mortgage payments? I'm confused about the situation here, especially that the lawyer thinks it would be very complicated. You own the house. Your name is on the title. You decide who can live there. There are standard eviction procedures to follow. (I realize that the emotional aspects are far from simple, but eviction is simple.)

So ... can you explain a little more about the mechanics of how you came to own the house?

The house is in my name. I appreciate you guys answering. I feel so sad. Is it weird to still want her love and acceptance even after all of this?I would do anything to protect my kids and for them to know thy are loved. I wish i knew how to handle it. I called a lawyer and he said i would need $2500for a retainer and it could be months to go to court for and forced eviction and it looks poorly because she is 71 .He made me feel even more confused. I wish there was a less expensive way. And possibly a support group for people with parents with mental illness.

Is the house actually in your name? Why not just sell it, or have her evicted. Do not let her live with your family - it would be child abuse and would destroy you all. You certainly do not owe her $10,000 - that is just blackmail. I'd say call her bluff - if protective services is involved make it clear that she cannot live with you because of your children - it is not safe for them. She needs to find other housing and they should be able to help. It does not matter what she prefers, what she thinks, and really, she does not love you and probably has no understanding of what love is.

If I read this right, you bought the house and she still lives in it. But you didn't put anything in writing about her moving, and now she won't move. I'm not even sure how you completed the sale of the house, with a quit claim deed or a new mortgage with a new bank. I'm not sure if you bought all of it or part of it.
If you paid less than market price, she will not be eligible for Medicaid. She suckered you in with a cheap deal, didn't she? You may need a lawyer to sort this out.