Mom (78) wants to move to Texas and I live in Illinois. Should she go?

theab63, what about refinancing the house so that your Mom can get her share of the equity and you remain in the house, and since you have a two bedroom apartment attached to the house, you could rent it out. If that's an idea that would work, it's worth hiring a Realtor to help you set a monthly rent and to help find a qualified tenant.

Your Mom will discover how costly it is to move once she's in the middle of the process. I assume she will be moving her own items. Hiring a moving company won't be cheap, they will want to personally pack otherwise they won't guarantee the items will arrive in one piece.... and it might take a week or more before she gets her furniture in Texas as the moving company will want a full load, thus they will pack the truck with her items, and also items from someone else who is moving south.

If she has a car, will she drive it to Texas? She could ship her car but that can be expensive, then she would need to fly down. Then the cost of registering the car, and she would need to get a Texas driver's license. If she can't automatically transfer her Illinois driver's license, she would need to take the written test and now a days the DMV's use computers for the written tests.

Then she would need to find all new doctors and dentist and have her medical records transferred.... some might charge a fee for that.

Or is your Mom that type that would rent a U-Haul, do her own packing and loading the truck?.... I can see her now on the Interstate driving that U-Haul and her car on a trailer behind the truck :)

Can she wait a year for her part of the profits? If she is planning to rent, it seems smartest to go ahead and rent for a while before requiring you to give up the house. But if you are eager to get something smaller on your own, then don't hesitate to do that.

Look very carefully at the housing market in Chicago befor either of you commits to selling a house. There may not be any profit to be had after you have paid the realtor and she has covered moving costs.
I assume you will be purchasing something smaller for yourself so the move is also going to cost you a lot of money.
She is going to do what she wants anyway. I realize she is your mother and you do feel responsible for her but don't tie yourself to a bargain you did not make if she decides to do this. In the end you both may be happier

If she's able to live independently (cook, clean, shop etc.), then maybe she wants one more time of being independent while she is able.

I came home from work and she has put herself on a waiting list for rental apartments. She is determined to do this. I asked about the "down the road" I won't have this place for her to move back too but she said she is fine with that and feels good about going. She has always been stubborn & yes her friends in Texas have been telling her to come.... Will they be there if she gets sick? She is a mean ole lady but she is my mom and I just hope this works out for her. This house too big for me to keep up & she wants me to sell so I can give her half of any profit.

Your mom was clearly thinking clearly and long term when she made the arrangement to move close to you and in a place that met her physical needs long term. Ehst has changed? Id dementia starting to be an issue? Is it difficult to get around?

Have you and she talked about the "down the road" concern? Have you discussed what's the plan if she needs assistance in Texas and you're unable to move down there?

Maybe you could offer to put in a home generator in case of power outages instead? And taking into account where in Texas and where in Illinois you would each live, Southwest might have cheap direct flights that would make long distance caregiving and visiting in an assisted living a reasonable alternative. But yeah, not fair, darned expensive too if she becomes unable to do it all on her own in just a few years. Moving for weather alone is rarely worth leaving family and friends, let alone careers. Everyplace has its share of good and bad weather goings-on.

Before you do anything drastic like sell the house, I think Mom should rent in Texas for several months, with some in each summer and winter.

And making you change your living arrangements doesn't seem fair at this point.

I have lived in Illinois, Florida, and Texas. Texas is very senior friendly; however, she will need more than just friends to assist her. Of the three states, Texas has been ideal to live in. Yes, the summers are hot. Even winters in the DFW area have been challenging the last couple of years. I could never live in Illinois (Chicago) again. Florida is too expensive.

Should she move to Texas? Without a built-in support system, I would not recommend it. I am getting ready to retire, but we have family here. My mother is in a great AL group home. She is not being fair to you at all regarding the house situation. If she wants to, have her winter in Texas and summer in Illinois. The best of both worlds.

Southcentral TX only gets super hot May - Sept. I lived where the hill country meets the plains. We had some wind that could really bite in the winter months. But the winter temperature was wonderful.

You might warn your mother that there is hail the size of softballs in TX. We even have something called the "distressed look" for automobiles. Those are the people after a hailstorm who didn't have collision on their autos.

theab63, what is it that your Mother missed doing because of the snow?

She will run into the same problem in Texas because of the heat. I had a chance to live in the Dallas-Fort Worth part-time for a few years, and we spent from February to November indoors because of the super hot weather, the tornados, and those darn fire ants.

Curious if any of her Texas friends came to visit her while she lived in Illinois? I think visiting back and forth would make more sense then uprooting and moving. Has she ever lived in Texas? It's hard enough moving at any age, finding a new home, new grocery stores, new doctors, and most important finding a new hair dresser, plus finding your way around, I assume your Mom still drives.

TX is a very senior friendly state with the most affordable housing I've seen for seniors. The area around Austin serves seniors well. But the summers are very hot. We used to count how many days in a row were 100+ degrees. And dry, so it is like baking to go outside when it's hot.

The only reservation I would have is leaving you holding the home "bag." She entered into this agreement with you. Now she wants her part of it, creating a huge problem for you. That doesn't seem fair at all.

We may have tough winters in the Midwest (I'm near Buffalo NY) but summers in Texas have been scorching, hellishly hot. Send her there to visit the friends in July or August for a week. (oh that is mean, isn't it).
A permanent move there is downright foolish. Her contemporaries won't be able to care for her, even if they were willing. Look at the cost of housing where she intends to go, she will be shocked by the numbers. She may be chasing the memories of Texas long ago. Things have changed and so has the landscape. When she finds out the Piggly Wiggly was torn down to build a Walmart, she won't like it.