I care for a woman who had a stroke and the daughter has moved in. Advice?

Just an addition to CM's suggestion of a contract. Make sure each signature is witnessed by 2 people independent of the family, i.e., impartial witnesses. Otherwise the family could claim the family representative signature was forged.

Also add a "jurat" or acknowledgement that each party signed of his/her own free will; this should be notarized.

You can find an acknowledgement online or if you can't I'll copy one from some of my documents.

Tell the daughter you are thankful for moving back in to help with her mother to allow you time off that you well need to take care of Mom at night when she cannot sleep.

Lyz, you're being taken advantage of. And seeing as you're the kind of person who can't leave your patient even when you're not on duty, I'll bet you're also not the kind of person who finds it easy to speak up for yourself. Correct?

But you need to. And you need a contract: the daughter needs to understand that you are not the household maid of all work and general factotum, so you need to get it down in black and white what your duties are and what they are NOT (e.g. supervising her daughter).

Write yourself a draft contract: this should specify rates of pay, hours to be worked, duties to be undertaken. Ask her to sit down and discuss it with you. Get it signed by whoever is actually your boss, which means whoever is paying your fee. And after that, when she crosses the line (she will), you remind her - politely but firmly - of what the contract is, and then if you still choose to assist her you do so on your terms, not hers.

Now if, on the other hand, this daughter is the kind of lofty b1tch who has a lot to learn about how to treat domestic staff with the respect they're entitled to, you need to give her the home truths. Listen to LadeeM, she knows.

I am a paid caregiver.... when extra work and hours are added, so is the pay..... I know it is difficult and uncomfortable to speak up sometimes.... but think about what you want to say, and say it in a way that is professional and respectful..... I completely understand about really caring for someone and wanting to stay.... been there way too many times... but I have also found in the long run..... we are just paid helpers..... the investment is very one sided..... find a way to take care of yourself..... sounds like you are being taken advantage of, and if you can't or wont speak up, then it's time to move on....work thru your feeling later...

Adding a further thought as to the kind of situations immigrants experience.... add misrepresentation. Many believe they're coming here to work in good paying jobs and find themselves being overworked domestics.

This sounds like such a situation.

I agree that if the provisions for the bonus aren't in writing, there's no guarantee you'll ever get it. In the meantime, you're working in virtual indentured servitude.

This sounds like the kind of situation immigrants often find themselves in - exploited, underpaid, overworked, treated poorly.

If you don't have a contract and if the bonus isn't significant, you're being exploited.

Do you have a question?

Sounds like you are a paid Caregiver, with a promise of a bonus. Like Pam had said above, I hope it was in writing.... the bonus amount and the time frame it would take to receive this bonus, hopefully it's not open ended.

Since you feel like you are doing extra work, you need to explain to the daughter what you are being paid to do, that is to cook and clean for her mother. Anything extra you should request more pay. If more pay is out of the question, is that bonus really worth you being away from your family home for 30 days on, with only 4 days off? As for the 10 year old, she's old enough to help with simple chores for her grandmother.

Where is the husband of the woman to which you made the agreement with?

Your negotiations were with the father, what does he have to say about this? Did he give you any warning? This bonus you refer to , was it in writing? If you are working on a handshake agreement the daughter can quickly undermine your expected compensation. Get a written contract!