Can I get power of attorney over my brother who is refusing a life saving operation?

Im sorry about your brother. I dont like surgery, I don't know if I'd do it either....He could be scared. Get a 2nd opinion.

PoA wouldn't be useful. You would need to have an Advanced Healthcare Directive drawn up by an attorney and your brother would have to sign it, basically saying that in the event that he can't make medical decisions for himself you are his designee. Only then can you make a medical decision for him. But only after it's determined that he is unable to make a healthcare decision for himself.

I'm not sure I understand either. If a kidney stone blocked his kidneys why didn't the Dr. just dissolve it with laser therapy? Even laproscopic surgery would have been better than life support and even surgery would be overkill for a kidney stone when there are so many other ways to get rid of it.

Is your brother off his meds? Is that why he can't make a decision for himself? Help him get back on his meds and let him take care of this as he sees fit. He should have every opportunity to make decisions.....any decisions.....on his own.

You are thinking the same thing I am, freqflyer. I don't know how a single stone could do that unless there was damage and sepsis. And I don't understand what the surgeon said about a POA taking over unless the patient had been ruled legally incompetent. Of course, if he is incompetent, he couldn't assign a POA.

Life support after having a kidney stone? That sounds rather odd. By the way, chances of having another kidney stone is around 5% to 10%.... I would have your brother get a second opinion regarding surgery.

Please honor your brother's decision. Living with a chronic horrific illness with no chance of a cure is h*ll on earth. He is tired, and wants it end. I have fought and struggled with Multiple Sclerosis for forty years. If I get a fatal illness, I will do nothing to stop it. You will never understand the hardships, the fatigue, and the pain. Let him go.

Ask the court for emergency guardianship due to mental incompetence.

Not unless he executes documentation granting you that authority, or you pursue guardianship, for which you probably would have to foot the cost.

I don't intend to be harsh, but it sounds as if he's dealt with some real challenges in his life and he may just not want to go through with anything more.

Over the years I've heard on the news of someone in the medical community attempting to override a patient's decision not to have surgery, but I would hope that would not happen as it would be very distressing for you and your brother to have unrelated people attempting to control his decisions.

I think Jeanne's idea of meeting with his doctor is a good one, so that you can both be apprised of what's involved in the surgery and the risks if he doesn't have it. Your brother may share some of his thoughts and provide insight into his refusal to have the surgery. There may in fact be risks of which both of you are unaware.

My heart goes out to you. It is VERY distressing to see people we love take what we consider self-destructive actions. Even if your brother would give you POA (why would he?) that would not enable you to force him to have surgery unless he is not in his right mind and the POA included medical authority.

You could go with your brother to his next appointment, and ask the doctor to explain the risks and benefits of having the surgery. Make sure that Brother has the information he should have in making a decision, and then try to accept his decision.

I am very sorry.

Your are not going to override his decision with a POA because that is something he gives you, and he won't now. I'm not sure why you are fighting your brother on this. It is his decision and he's made it.