I just don't want to do anything, I want to be by myself alone. Any advice?

Depression is a terrible thing and sometimes so sneaky we don't ever realize it is in us. Please get yourself to your doctor and ask for a referral to a good counselor. Your desire to retreat is normal. Burnout stinks

I know exactly how you feel - I never wanted to be responsible for anyone except myself. Now my Mother has died and I am the full time care giver for my Dad in my home. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. ALONE is the best escape when you are locked into a no win endless situation. Steal your time when you can, go to a movie, take a nap, drink a glass of wine or a good cold beer. And most important of all realize when you are taking that time " you deserve it". My thoughts and prayers are with you. Here's to being alone, Cheers.

Take an hour off, get a facial, back massage, and then mahybe next time, you can take more time.

Don't hide, reach out to a therapist . I go to one and she's wonderful. They may suggest different ideas, such as yoga, long walks to clear your head. I took my therapist advice and exercise makes a world of difference. I have severe arthritis so I swim. Try it. I'm also on antidepressants and anxiety meds. There's always a stigma attached to certain meds, but if they work, to heck with what any ones opinion is. Reach out! Don't isolate yourself. That's the worse thing you can do

Marsha, do you take vitamins? I take a handful every day to get me through. The sublingual (under the tongue) B vitamin is a life saver. no longer have panic attacks, but also found out that my thyroid is low so thyroid meds are in place and my energy level is better. Have you had a check up lately? Be sure to take care of your own health. Check electrolytes, B vit levels, homosistine levels and thyroid all can contribute to anxiety and exhaustion if out of balance.
I just hired a lovely live in help. They have individuals of all types of skill levels all over the USA and the asking pay is anywhere from $5 - $50 per hour depending on skill set and whether or not they live in. Many on there are just looking for part time, some for live in and some full time. It's a great site for a resource. If you could afford someone to come in & help MIL a couple of days a week, it would be a godsend to you. Before hiring this lady, I had someone come in 4 hours a day 2 days a week and that was amazingly freeing for me. Can MIL afford to pay someone?

Marsha, please update your profile or let Pam know where you are. She's good at researching options and resources.

As to your situation, you're clearly overwhelmed and have been heading towards this point for some time. It's time for a different approach.

Sit down and make a list of the caregiving tasks you do for your husband, mother and yourself. Then list the resources that would either help you continue that care or take over the care you're providing. Also make a list of the sources you can contact to initiate involvement by these other resources.

This may sound like a tedious task, but what it will do is require you to refocus on your situation in a different manner, one which identifies the problems and potential solutions.

E.g., for your husband's amputation recovery, you might list PT in a rehab facility, home PT, in-home care as he adjusts, home modifications for wheelchair use, prosthetic device fitting and rehab for using the device.

Ask your husband's surgeon to script for the home care, provide information on prosthetics, etc., then start calling.

This is tedious, but tedium can sometimes help to calm the anxiety and exhaustion by refocusing on things you can solve.

You will have to reconcile yourself to the fact that you can't do it all, and if you continue to try, you'll end up ill yourself and then there will be no one to care for your family.

While you're working on these solutions, take some time out in the morning, afternoon and evening to just sit and think about positive things, and let yourself be refreshed before you go back to the task of caregiving.

But remember, the only way you'll get relief is by bringing in outside sources, including family if they'll participate.

Good luck; now, go have a nice cup of hot tea, hot chocolate, coffee or lemondate, depending on your weather, and start thinking about life becoming better for you.

Can your mother's MD arrange for a visiting nurse? Even a weekly visit would take some pressure off. You desire to be alone is your body shutting down from fatigue. If I knew where you are, I could make more recommendations. You can also go to Finding Housing And Care, enter your zip and click on Home Care.