I am the primary caregiver to my mom. She broke her coccyx bone after a fall on June 1st. She should be healed by now. She has no other diagnoses except for lack of better terms stubbornness. She wants to be served three meals a deal and snacks etc etc. she is quite capable of doing this herself but won't. And when confronted about it, she says she is in pain from her broken bone and goes to lie down. I just broke my leg. I can not put weight on it. I can't not cook a normal dinner. It's pretty much self serve around here. My sons have been doing laundry since it's in basement and I can't hobble there. Mom is complaining that I should do laundry everyday I reminded her I have a broken leg, she replies with go down stairs on your butt.
I am at the point where I have Visiting nurses coming in this week to evaluate her in her home to see if she can go back with part time aides. One brother is against this (who lives local and hasn't help all)
I can't not food shop, get her to dr appts. My hubby has to leave work to drive her. This is not his not my sons responsibly! How do I get brother to help out more!?!
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My sister was completely disabled with RA, and mother has outlived her. Long story short, Mother lived alone, broke some ribs, went to hospital and was told that she could not live alone. She is now thriving at the NH. She likes being waited on.
You need to take care of yourself. Mom needs to go. Now.
I do not blame siblings that do not help. Having people hover over her is only prolonging the problem. Tell relatives not to say "I think you should....." to you, unless they want to take her for 30 days.
Thanks for making me smile! I needed that
I really hope the Visiting Nurses can come up with a plan to help out. I just can't anymore!
You need some assistance. Can a home health aide come in to help with your mom's stuff? At least you can make sure she's taken care of and then you can heal and not have to worry about her demands that you slide down the stairs on your butt to do the laundry. How are you supposed to get back up for Heaven's sake??
Who made this "undiagnosis"? Perhaps it's time for a real diagnosis so short and long term treatment can be addressed.
So I'd suggest looking elsewhere, i.e., outside for paid help or help as prescribed by your mother's orthopedic doctor.
Mom needs a reality check as well; she's not helping the situation. Frankly, anyone who told me to go downstairs on my butt to do laundry would not be living with me much longer, mother or not. That kind of rudeness is not acceptable nor should it be tolerated.
Ask the visiting nurses about temporary respite for your mother until you heal,
If the nonparticipating brother disagrees with a facility placement, send him a list of everything that needs to be done, ask him what he INTENDS to do to participate, and tell him that starting date is immediately. He probably will get mad; let him.
And document all your contact with him as to caring for your mother because it wouldn't surprise me if later he complains about her treatment. Then you can pull out your list and show that on such and such a date you asked for help, which was never forthcoming.
Ask the visiting nurses what kind of help is available for in-home, if respite out of your home is not. It's time to focus on healing your own leg and let Mom become more appreciative if she wants to stay with you.
If you don't take action now, the situation will only get worse. It's up to you to make this happen. Good luck.