Sharing Mom between Florida and Massachusettes. Any advice?

Thank you everyone for your comments.. my family and have found the resources to make the decisions we need for mom. We adore our mom and will always make sure she is surrounded by family and love.

When my dad was alive and in declining health he moved from one state to another state and it was a mess on his benefits that took us months to untangle.

If your mom is bedridden I'd be concerned about her moving back and forth. It sounds like your sister wants to pitch in, which is wonderful, but it sounds like an awful lot for your mom to endure. Someone who is bedridden is the most difficult to care for and if they have any type of dementia or acute illness it makes it all the harder to care for them.

But it sounds like you are getting a break and that's good.

I live in Mass and we have Mass Health which is our Medicaid.. As stated it differs from state to state.. mass.gov/

Medicaid is a national program, so it is certainly available in both states. But each state runs it within federal guidelines, and some rules, benefits, and procedures may differ from state to state. Discuss the matter of transferring with Medicaid in both states, so you know what to expect.

Have you discussed this with her local doctors? How do they feel about moving her -- might it have an adverse impact on her health? Get referrals to doctors on the other end.

How does Mother feel about moving? How is her mental health?

You are very wise to attempt to avoid burnout. If after you have thoroughly explored this you conclude that sharing between states is not feasible, don't give up the idea of avoiding burnout. Arrange plenty of respite care. Ask the Medicaid caseworker for suggestions for regular respite, even if Medicaid will not cover it. Maybe Sis can help fund the respite care. There may be volunteer programs that would spell you for a few hours each week. Various facilities may offer respite care for a week or more. Maybe Sis can come in twice a year for you to take a one-week vacation. If moving Mom won't be feasible, keep working on ways to get relief from your constant on-call status.

The other possibility, of course, is for Mom to be placed in an appropriate level care center, and for you to visit her frequently and Sis to visit as often as she can. You can both go back to the role of loving daughters while 3 shifts of professionals take on the day-to-day caregiver roles.

Best wishes to you all, and do keep us posted on how this works ou.

Moving her is out of the question. Moving her back and forth is going to royally screw up her benefits. Patients in her condition do very badly with repeated moves. Hospice with local respite may be an option for a bedbound patient, but certainly not FL to MA. Far better to have the caregiver fly in.

Hi Garden Artist, Thank you for your reply. Just one clarification. She did have cancer, but has been in remission for 5 years and only take 1 medication which is the Keppra for seizures. Unfortunately the treatments left her bedridden. She is actually in very stable condition with the exception of the occasional UTI's which are normal for her bed bound status. Moving her is difficult since she is all weight yet have learned to transfer her with minimal risk to her and ourselves. I will definitely tell my sister to speak to Medicaid in MA and I will do the same in Miami in hopes of finding a way to share the care since we both want to avoid caregiver burnout. God Bless you as well.

Teresa, you and your sister must be very caring individuals and good sisters and daughters to share this responsibility for your mom.

I don't have answers for your questions but did check another of your posts and wanted to share a concern. You wrote that your mother has cancer and is bedridden.

I'm wondering about the difficulty of moving from Florida to Massachusetts given your mother's immobile condition, as well as continuing the cancer treatment with a presumably new group of oncologists and physicians.

It seems this annual transfer will continue in the future. I'm sure you've addressed long term transport issues - it's the change on your mother, the disruption and perhaps disorientation that concerns me.

As to the continuation of Medicaid coverage, I think your sister should probably contact the Medicaid authorities in Massachusetts to find out how to continue care without going through the whole process again. I have little if any experience so I can't offer much advice. But there might be some way to transfer at the state level.

You might also contact your own Medicaid office in Florida to ask about this issue.