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amgeorgiu Asked August 2014

Can there be more than one guardian for an elderly parent?

ie... can my mother, as well as me (his daughter) be co-guardians for my father. My father has dementia and no longer able to make any decisions. We are seeking to obtain guardianship. My mother will be his guardian, but... should something happen to her... would I, as his daughter, have to go through the "guardianship seeking" process again, or can we both obtain guardianship rights over him as we go through this process the first time??

Galoshes59 Aug 2014
Two guardians is a bad idea. Who makes decisions when they can't agree? I wanted my sister to be co-conservator with my mom, but the attorney talked me out of it. She makes all her decisions based on emotion and can't be logical when it comes to loved ones. I am more of a linear thinker and our decisions would many times, conflict. Plus, she cries every time something goes wrong, which is really often when dealing with a dementia patient.

Right now, I'm dealing with having to increase mom's medications to keep her from getting moved from the memory care unit to a nursing home. They want to stop waking her every two hours at night because she's get combative, but that means she may wake up wet. We'll try two pullups instead of one. They also want to let her sleep late in the morning. And they want me to change doctors because her's is not being responsive. I really want her to stay at that facility because it is so nice and the price is right, but I can't imagine having to ask my sister and make these decisions jointly. It would be a nightmare. What about when it comes time to stop a certain treatment that will result in his death. Two people agreeing on that can ruin a relationship.

In the US you would have to go back to court, but it depends on what happens to your mom. If she dies, the court would be pretty agreeable to a change, but what if she becomes incompetent herself. Then you may have to have her declared incompetent first. So, seek legal advise, for your area. Hopefully, there is a way for your mom to express to the court, who and under what circumstances guardianship would pass to you.

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