Where can I find respite care so that my spouse and I can take a break once in a while?

Most Assisted Living facilities offer respite care IF they have an empty room. And most have Memory care centers with security. Start calling.

In San Diego some facility we call Residential Care Facility for Elderly( RCFE) does respite care for Clients with ALZ/Dementia. I think small facility like 6 or 8 residents home are getting better attentions from aide....I'm not sure how much cost, could be over $100 a day??

Many organizations offer respite and advertise it. NHs would probably be best in your case since you can afford. Make a list of your requirements - especially the lock down. Meds may need to be blister packed which can be a pain. I would not recommend any "independent living facility" as they often talk a good game but neglect. Room service with a bed alarm may suit the best in a NH. If you can find a publication called "Alternatives for Seniors" in your area - 888 533-4636 it would be a good start.
I wish you & yours a happy respite. :)

Most nursing homes offer respite. You pay by the day. Look into it.