Mom in nursing home trying to get new aide fired. Any advice?

Cat and Veronica--- what I know is that professional caregivers have been to more than one rodeo. They have learned to "write the book" on problem patients and remove all credibility. One of the most damning phrases is "non compliant" and that would be a ticket to wing with the locked doors.

Cat Pam knows "everybody" I agree keep out of it unless you feel the aide has done anything wrong. if you should talk to the aid reassure her you have every confidence in her care of your mother. Don't worry about it. it can be extremely discouraging to workers if they think people are spreading untruths that others may believe

You muxt know my mother!

If she keeps this up she will end up with a psychiatric code added to her list of maladies. For example a 300 code which is "anxiety, dissociative and somatoform disorders" which is a high tech way of saying she has dementia, gets upset, reports false events and false maladies.

You're wise to stay out of it. If I personally were to get involved at all, it would be to, in some small way (without trashing your mom) support staff. "By the way, I just want to let you know that I have confidence in the staff here. I think there was probably a misunderstanding." Believe me -- they've seen and heard it all. I'm sure there are nurses and aids everywhere that have to switch patients regularly because of some hurt feelings or supposed inconsiderate treatment.

The visitor was a nosy busybody, in my opinion, by the way. Unless she thought your mom was visibly injured or hurting, she should have kept that information to herself. Seniors in nursing homes have very little to talk about with people. That can result in gossip and exaggeration just to have something to say and get someone's attention.

From your profile, it looks as though you are attempting to "detach with love". Keep doing that. If you visit, you might mention that Nursing Homes are all in touch with each other, and if they decide to kick a patient to the curb, she'll end up in The State Home. Not really true, but it might help. You have to meet narcissists where they are...they tend to tend to their own self interest.