Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
D
Deborah23 Asked August 2014

How to deal with a controlling Dad?

My father has blocked me out of his phone so I can't call him or my mom. I live in LA and they are in mass. He is very verbal abusive to me and my mom has some dementia. He is very upset because I live here, he holds on to much of the past and dose not let go. I hove no siblings. Some family members back there but he evens finds flat with many of them. There is so much more, but don't what to go on an on about this.

melmer69 Aug 2014
I agree with terryjack1. Try reaching out to services in his state or area to see if they have any ideas. Tell them your fears and if you feel any immediate danger to your mom let them know. They can always send someone out to check up on her. You really don't want anything to happen to her. Did something happen to change your dad's attitude or was he always like that? Hope this helps!

terryjack1 Aug 2014
Sounds like maybe your father needs to visit his doctor, there may be other medical issues at play. If he hasn't always exhibited these particular behaviors it could also be brain changed due to dementia. Can your mother get him to the doctor? She can verbalize her concerns to the receptionist/nurse when she calls to make the appointment. This way the doctor will already have some knowledge about the issues before your fathers appointment. If he is aggressive toward you mom, then that's abuse. Your father may not be able to control it, but it doesn't make it right. Your mother could benefit from talking to a social worker etc. who can give her some strategies to deal with your fathers behaviors. Maybe you need to get your mom a prepaid cell that only she is aware of and call her at specific times so your father won't know and become angry. It's a shame he has blocked the home phone. It's difficult being a long distance caregiver, you can contact your local Area Agency on Aging or Bureau of Senior Services; they have professionals that can give you information on things you can do to help this situation.

ADVERTISEMENT


MaggieMarshall Aug 2014
In your efforts to be brief, you haven't given us enough information even to know what your question is. The only concrete information you've given is that he's blocked your phone number.

Sodonewithsal1 Aug 2014
That's awful. Is your mom able to communicate with you via email, text messaging, skype or old-fashioned letter writing? Are any of your relatives in Massachusetts able to visit them, and report back to you on how she's doing?
If he's being physically or verbally abusive to your mom, not providing her access to proper food and medical care, then you may have a case for Adult Protective Services. Good luck.

1tired Aug 2014
So is it that you are concerned about your moms health?? Are other family members allowed to visit Mom? How old is he and do you think he is suffering from dementia also or has he always been this way?

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter