What do I do when elder Dad is fixated on finding a woman?

Ah, modern technology sometimes is great for tracking down those from the past. A fellow who I was engaged to, but who crushed my heart when he broke the engagement, tracked me down after 40 years.

Though the years you live in this fantasy of the knight in shining armor coming back to rescue you... but in that fantasy you both are still 21 years old. But time changes, people change, we look different, hearts heal somewhat, and then you are angry over the life you never had with that person as some other woman was chosen to take your place for those 40 years. And he still smokes :P

mum was engaged to an american and lived in chicago then her mum died and she returned to Ireland and never went back? broke his heart! after 40 yrs we tracked him down and they spoke and wrote to each other but obviously his current wife wasnt to happy so it stopped but mum always regretted not going back and marrying him!
So yes its so easy now to track someone down with all our technology I never thought mum would find him in the states but he had an unusual name so it was easier as there were very few with this name!

Yes pamzimmit BUT i havnt seen him in 20yrs i would love to see him fat and older i am curious and yes hes still an ex for a reason but would still like to see him again you always wonder did he change grow up has his current wife left him etc.... they say people dont change so i would be interested to see him as an older man!!

Is he on Facebook? That can be a terrific way to reconnect with old loves!

You are wise to direct him to church groups and the senior center. Even those have their share of people trolling, but I am sure much less. My FIL 88 who HAS a 92 YO GF who is in failing health, decided that he would hook up with a "lady" who approached him in Mc Donalds one day asking if he remembered her from long ago. I noticed that his phone was ringing off the hook for a couple of days. Turns out she took him to a Walmart 20 miles away, had him buy her a 40 in Tv and then open a credit card account for her. Of course she took all the paperwork, tv and receipts. I only found out because I overheard a phone convo (the only time I was greatful he did not have a hearing aid). Took MANY MANY phone calls on our part to close the account, a visit to the police dept and finally getting the TV returned to walmart under threat of prosecution . Moral- don't let frisky men out of your sight!

Kazza, remember he;s your ex for a reason!! LOL

I may just contact my ex husband again now he was dishy!! do you think h*ll try and find me when im 90??

Lovely, Vegaslady - and let's not make assumptions, people. My neighbour over the road (80) married her toy boy (79) in the teeth of his children's opposition - but actually she's the one with the money. Are they getting that one wrong!

VegasLady!! What a great story!

My aunt was widowed. She looked up people from elementary school and reconnected with many. She got together with a guy from that school and they have now been living together for over twenty years. It is a loving relationship. My aunt is now 92 and her boyfriend is 90.

There's a website for looking up former high school classmates, he might find a former classmate who is a widow. Try Classmates

As for the cigars, no matter how great a guy is, those cigars would be a deal breaker for me and probably some others :P

Good for you, TnTmom!! You're lettin' him "live the dream"!! ;) ;)

Thank you so much. He's dated several women at church and now wants to find his previous secretaries (from 40 years ago!). I just found out about a senior center and will try to get him to go. Thank you!

I sympathize. There's nothing more uncomfortable. Especially! when it's a daughter watching her dad.

I've seen it with the very elderly. Was a target of one one time. I was VERY glad he was only a client so I had limited contact with him. He'd just lost his wife who was 26 years younger than him. He never thought THAT'D happen. In his case, he was desperately looking for another "nurse". He asked me out to dinner several times . . . his daughter called me and asked me to join them all for dinner a few times . . . until I finally told HER to please take me off dad's call list.

Still, the elderlies' lives become soooo small. And he is probably very lonesome even living with you and your family. If he's fixated on finding a woman, give in to his dreams. Tell him that church and your local senior center is exactly what he needs. Find out about the sr. center programs and encourage him to go.

He'll flirt shamelessly with a bunch of women who will find him (possibly) irresistibly charming and ego-feeding. He'll make THEIR day. And they'll make his. I can't think of much else that would keep him any happier.