Is it normal if I tell my Mom not to take a shower because I will be gone at the dr?

Yeah, you answered it yourself. The shower? Maybe not a whole lot you can do about that UNLESS you want to get a lock for the outside of the door, put a potty chair in her bedroom, and lock the bathroom when you're gone.

But the stove? Listen to HeartToHeart. Take the knobs off when you're gone.

If I might share with you a short story of someone who didn't take that advice? His brother, living alone just after his sister died, a raging uncontrolled diabetic. I told my friend, his brother, to shut off the stove (in this case, because the stove would never /should never be used).

"Oh, that's not necessary." TWO DAYS LATER! Brother was cooking a pizza in the oven. When he pulled it out, he burned his hand -- badly -- and, worse, the pizza landed on his thighs somehow, and he wound up with second degree burns, diabetic complications and three weeks in the hospital.

Stoves and dementia absolutely do not mix.

Everything's "normal" with dementia. No surprises that you have all KINDS of surprises! Just an all-out effort to think ahead and solve those hazards/problems you can think of . . . and then solve each and every one as it arises.

fligirl58, wonder if you said the opposite what would happen? Like saying, "I'll be gone for a couple of hours, that's enough time for you to shower" :)

Can you take the knobs off of the stove (when you're gone)?
I understand your concerns about her safety (I go through the same things).