Mom simply will not keep her depends on and takes them off in the middle of the night. What do I do?

Thank you, sad4dad.... will look into it!

You're welcome.

Jocelyne, if she is itching maybe her liver levels are a bit out of whack, the itching can be pretty bad. Benedryl won't help, but if it is a problem, a medicine called cholestramine resin can help. It is prescription, a powder and it is used to stop diarrhea and to stop itching from elevated bilirubin. It can be mixed with food or drink. She could also be having a mild reaction to a medication. Benedryl would work in that case. If she doesn't itch, maybe she won't shred the depends.

By the way, I have SEVEN mattress pads, one below the sheet if she pees a lot and misses the mattress pad on top of the sheet. Yes, I have one under and one over the sheet. Her "sheet" happens to always be a fleece blanket because it never gets cold, it's cuddly, and the mattress pad seems to cling to it better than a regular sheet. Just added info...

Martha... this maybe the better thing to do than forcing the issue. Even using duct tape sounds rather disrespectful, but sometimes I think she's just stubborn as can be. It just irks me, but you know, what I may think is intentional carelessness on her part, may truly be inability. She does wet the bed every night, and gets angry about it in the morning. I think you're right in that she is 92, and why sweat the small stuff... overcoming bad with good is always a good idea. Thank you.

My Mom won't use them either...and sometimes she does pee in the bed. Sometimes she doesn't. I prefer not to upset her and I like to keep her dignity in tact. I don't use them at all at night. I already know she is either going to pee in the bed or not.
So...I stay prepared. I have 3 different waterproof mattress pads...that I change out. If she has wet the bed...then off with the soiled pad and on with the clean pad and new sheets.
I let them air dry in the spare room to save the pad and the water and electric bill. I don't mention the wet bed...I don't want to embarrass her. So I just say..."it's laundry day!" While being pleasant. And my Mom loves to help me make the bed...so it's a win-win for us.

I have to say, I've thought of the duct tape, and now I'm ready to do it. I walked in on her last night while she slept (1:30am) and she was scratching herself in her sleep. Scratch, scratch, scratch, here there and everywhere. Then I saw her literally pulling them off during her sleep... or 1/2 sleep, whatever. So..... it's a question of sensitive skin, and I don't think anything will work outside of duct taping. She does take Loratadine for allergies to lessen the itchiness, which has helped. I know she never wore undies to bed most of her life, so this is just something she can't get used to. So, duct tape it is, and thank you so very much. Somehow, it helps to know I'm not alone in all this!

I second the duct tape suggestion. No harm done, and whatever works, works. Good luck.

The "adaptive clothing" works wonders. My SIL was having the same problem with my mother and she ordered her one that looks like the swimsuits from the olden days and it works perfectly. We even use it during the day to keep her from sticking her hand down her pants.

Here's another idea: Posey Soft Hand Mitts.

amazon/Posey-Soft-Hand-Mitts/dp/B000R91Q0C#

$57.00

I hate comparing a toddler to an adult....however....when my daughter went through the phase of taking off her diaper in the middle of the night and smearing poop everywhere I duct taped it before she went to bed. It worked.

However, my daughter was ready to grow OUT of diapers, not stay IN them.

It's like the changing roles, you are the parent now, and mom is the child....How about some kind of gloves to keep mom from pulling off her depends? Is she new to depends or adult diapers? Perhaps it's just getting used to them, and they don't feel good when wet...Maybe they are itchy. I agree try another fit, adjustable one..Try contacting the mfg directly and see what they suggest..maybe they will give you some samples...

Look up "adaptive clothing" and you will find a jump-suit type garment that opens in the back, for exactly this purpose (well, that, and preventing running around naked). I think that this is similar to lsmiami's idea with the suspenders.

Maggie, I was thinking the same thing, wondering if a different size might help. Or trying different brands. I noticed since the baby boomers are getting older, and there are so many of us, more products are coming out for situations like this.

LOL... good play on words *in brief*.

Every so often, mom shreds her Depends into a billion-million pieces. She sleeps in a hospital bed with an absorbent made-for-that barrier pad. I don't put sheets on it because they would always be wet. It's a vinyl gel pad that I disinfect with Clorox sheets every morning just in case.

I don't know WHY she does that . . . and neither does she. Doesn't even remember it. Sometimes, she just takes them off -- THIS the lady who can't take off her own shoes!

She wears a small/medium. I'm tempted to try a bigger size thinking that, at night sometimes, the briefs may get a little snug. ??

In brief (hahahaha!), nothing surprises me anymore. Sometimes, I go in to get her out of bed in the morning, and she's laying there completely naked. Lordy! A person could go blind! ;)

Now on to a possible solution: how about PJ's with feet? Where there's a will? There's a way. ;)

Good luck!

Does mom wear slacks? If so, can you (or a handy friend) create suspenders?
If you sew suspenders on and have them meet up in the mid back, she will not be able to get to them and therefore will not be able to remove the depends.