What are the general symptoms of dementia at the end of life?
Mom is having a lot of trouble swallowing so is not wanting to eat and says she is full all the time thinking she just ate. Totally incontinent. Was just in hospital for dehydration. At this point, how much time do we have with her?
I'm sorry that you are at this point with your mom. It's hard to watch, yet this is part of the disease.
I'd say that you likely don't have very much time left to be with her. Is she under hospice care? They can do a lot to make her comfortable which is likely all you can wish for at this time.
That being said, people can surprise you. That's why doctors are reluctant to put a time on how long people have left. Even hospice patients sometimes get better and go off of the program. However, with people who have Alzheimer's, once they can't swallow it typically means they are nearing the end. You need to prepare yourself to accept whatever happens. It often helps to be grateful that the people we love and lose are out of pain once they are physically gone. Take care, Carol
Once they stop eating, a month. Once they stop drinking, a week. Feeding tubes are not particularly successful, because the body is shutting down. Call Hospice, they make the main goal comfort for the patient and emotional support for the family.
I hope your mom's on hospice. They will make her sooo comfortable. More than we can do. Don't feel like you're making the decision to "let her go" -- she's making that decision. And if she changes her mind and rallies? You can elect to take her off the program. I'm right on the cusp of making that decision for my mom. It's difficult. Easier for me to see it's time for your mom than it is for my own.
It is interesting to me that the symptoms or stages seem to vary so much from person to person. My mother has not been able to speak for years and has not been very responsive to anyone for quiet a long time. She can't move her body at will. For over a year now her liquids have been thickened as she began to choke on them but is okay so far with pureed foods. Still eating but has started to choke on her own saliva. She has been in care for 11 years now, and much to our surprise, has outlived my father. T.A.'s, tooth decay and tremors blows us all away that she wakes up every morning. With the most recent choking episode I keep expecting the phone call but it hasn't come yet. So,.. it is very tough to predict anything with this disease. Cherish the fact that you can communicate. Hug her and tell how much you love her. I feel your pain and anxiety about her leaving but as my mother used to say "there are worst things that can happen to you than dying". My mom was a nurse and worked with many patients suffering from terminal illnesses. She once told me that she felt a little gratitude when they were finally released from their suffering. As much as I am NOT looking forward to her departure, I know she will no longer be trapped in pain and fear. My heart goes out to you. Find your peace with your mom and your fears of living without her physical presence in your life.
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I'd say that you likely don't have very much time left to be with her. Is she under hospice care? They can do a lot to make her comfortable which is likely all you can wish for at this time.
That being said, people can surprise you. That's why doctors are reluctant to put a time on how long people have left. Even hospice patients sometimes get better and go off of the program. However, with people who have Alzheimer's, once they can't swallow it typically means they are nearing the end. You need to prepare yourself to accept whatever happens. It often helps to be grateful that the people we love and lose are out of pain once they are physically gone.
Take care,
Carol
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*Hugs*
My heart goes out to you. Find your peace with your mom and your fears of living without her physical presence in your life.