How to bathe my stubborn Dad who will not bathe at all?

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Oldman80nobath Asked September 2014

How to bathe my stubborn Dad who will not bathe at all?

In 2014 he's had one bath and that was to the point where he had been thrown in. He is 80 yrs old and does no longer leave the house. he gets out of bed and sits at kitchen table, reads his newspaper, then watches the news and price is right, He has pored his first brandy at that time and a little while later he'll go back to bed (with someone to help him) and then go to sleep, A few hours later the process starts all over and he wants more and more things. He can hardly stand on his own, he bought a walk in jaccuzzi tub that he refuses to us. So he sits, there in the kitchen smelling so fowl it offends everyone, especially his wife of 63 yrs who can hardly stand it. Does he have a phobia of water maybe, when the nurse comes he just says the same old thing..."Oh, I/m gonna take a shower" Don't know what to do.

Hygiene

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score 0 · Answer 1

My husband is not bathing or showering since his hip surgery. I've sponged him twice and got him in the shower sitting down once and standing once...holding the grab bar...and that's IT in 6 weeks. He thinks he will hurt his hip. He might fall. He will wait for me. Then we will wait til tomorrow. Then tomorrow we will do it tomorrow. Today he told me *my* feet smell bad. This is bull. I think people can't smell themselves and if you are basically lazy to start with, and rarely do anything out of your comfort zone, it's easy to put it off.

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score 1 · Answer 2

What Eyerish said...is exactly what my dad went through. Except he had reached only showering every 3 weeks. Even though he was going around smelling like old urine on him, he truly couldn't smell that he was stinky.

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score 0 · Answer 3

This no showering business better not happen in my house. It's going to be indoors or out but he's gonna get sprayed down with hose on a regular basis!

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score 3 · Answer 4

Most men are more modest about their bodies than you would expect. I would use the warmed, disposable wipes to do his back, then his lower legs and feet, especially between the toes. The no-rinse shampoo cap, warmed, is actually quite soothing. When you take it off, then turn it inside out to do the neck, armpits and arms.
You leave him to do the chest and groin by himself. Offer no options other than the Ice Bucket Challenge.

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score 2 · Answer 5

There are microwaveable "bath-in-a-bag" products; soft cloth like moist towels you can heat in the microwave. I have used them on my cat who also refuses to shower. :)

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score 2 · Answer 6

"And when that didn't work...and when THAT didn't work..." Cute. And so true.

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score 5 · Answer 7

Old people and bathing *sigh*.

I don't know what it is. The energy it takes to bathe? The water temperature? Fear of falling? Not wanting grown children to see you naked? Who knows. My dad had the same aversion to bathing. At first I tried to beat around the bush and hint that he needed to shower and when that didn't help I told him that needed to shower and when that didn't help I told him that he didn't smell good and that he needed a shower and when that didn't work I hired a bath aide and she got in there and within 10 minutes my dad was done and feeling good. She even trimmed his beard.

My dad didn't know the bath aide was coming. We ganged up on him. Maybe that would work with your dad.

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score 2 · Answer 8

Since he has an aversion to the bathroom, have you tried sponge bathing him? Or persuade him to use wipes? Make a deal with him or cajole him, to wipe a few areas at a time. While sitting down, you can try his arms and legs. When he's reclining, then wipe his upper chest. When he's lying down, have him turn on his sides and clean his back. When he goes to the bathroom, ask if he can use the wipes to clean his bottom and private area. Don't make it a command. A command would automatically make him more stubborn. Just do what you can - even if it's a little at a time. Also there are waterless body wash and shampoos.

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score 0 · Answer 9

He's always kept the best hygiene in his younger years, I've tried withholding his brandy for a few days and then he just sleeps all day. But he gets mad and violent if you attempt to force him in the bathroom.

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How to bathe my stubborn Dad who will not bathe at all?

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