My Mom with dementia lives with me and my husband. I try to keep her safe but... Advice?

my mother likes to “park” her walker in places that it fits well regardless of how far these spaces are from where she is going to sit. So I placed light tables or stools in those places and she will be perplexed fir a while and just take the walker with her like she should. But before the day is over, she will move the table and park her walker and use the table as a cane to another spot. And this is all with 24 hour care.

Hi ALL,
Yes, I deal with heat in the summer in Arizona, when it is hot enough at 105, she wants the heat on. She is constanatly moving her clothes all over the place, eating and not remembering any of it.This is a constant battle, I wish I had an
answer, yet, when one visits a faclity, the rooms are not over filled, at home I know my mom has too much stuff, and I will have to make changes for her safety. Less is more. Jessie your worry is the winter, mine is the Summer as you said"ARRRGH". It seems that there are so many simalarities, and new behaviors we hear about. As we want them to have peace, safety and feel OK, the day to day problems we deal with,make it hard to feel normal, at least for me anyway.

Be Well ALL!!!

First you have to have someone there all the time. Then there are all kinds of alarm systems you can set up. Pads for the chair, the bed, the floor that set off an alarm when the elderly person moves. Every time they stand up, you hear the alarm and can make sure they are moving around safely.

"Turning up the heat" is a problem for care givers. What about if you disconnect the wire to the current thermostat and reinstall another thermostat elsewhere in the home of course not telling your Mom where it is. Let her turn the old one to any setting she likes while you can control the true settings

I put granola snacks individually wrapped on a charger plate at my dad's sitting place at our table. I always keep a couple of clean napkins there (Vanity Fair brand has multiple sizes and are very soft). He has a glass always with at least three quarters filled with water. There are always bananas on a platter in the center of the table. We had steel cut oats today (his in a pasta bowl) with walnuts around the perimeter of the bowl along with a mix of light chocolate soy milk and vanilla almond milk. When my dad eats the steel cut oats he has a calm demeanor and usually is satisfied easily. It is so important to pay attention to the ingredients in their diets, just like those of children. We get the oats and walnuts from a local health food store.

Wow, I just thought it was my dad. He is in assisted living / memory care and he moved the furniture around in his room. I thought it was just him but once again agingCare.com has reminded me I'm not alone.

Lol at "gremlins". This is my first time on this site, and its comforting to see that there are others out there dealing with the same issues I am. My father will often times try to move heavy things, or carry heavy things up and down the stairs. I don't know how you keep them from doing those things, other than keeping an eye on them at all times, which is impossible for most, and definitely for me. My father lives with me and my 3 year old daughter (my husband and I are separated), and dealing with the issues in my marriage, and taking care of both my father and my daughter is very challenging, to say the least. I laughed at the comment about hiding snacks. I do the same thing. My father eats me out of house and home! Anyone know what it is about Alzheimer's that causes them to eat so much and not feel full?

I guess I hijacked worry's thread, too! As for your mom's moving furniture I would suggest you encourage her to fold or organize one of her drawers. That is what I did to my dad. He does move his wingback recliner to/from the television and maybe that is because of the volume control or perhaps he is restlessly moving his chair. Socks and handkerchiefs are great for organizing and folding. Did your mom ever like to knit? Maybe the type for children might be safe for her to use. I stopped telling my dad what he couldn't do because he seemed to get rebellious. So I would say did you organize your ties or your handkerchiefs and he'd get busy. Now he just does it on his own. Let us know what you try, etc. Good luck!!!

My mom can't move any furniture around, but every night she wants to go home to her old house (now sold) and has no idea where she will sleep even though she has a room in my house. She cannot get around on her own anymore and seems to be failing every day, then she will regain her memory and know where she is and who she is. It seems that this is happening more every day. Anyone have any suggestions.

My dad is 82 with Alzheimers and lives with me.We moved in April and he is fortunate to have a room with four closet cabinets on one wall with two windows that have window seats (a cabinet/closet then a window seat then two cabinet/closets then a window seat then a cabinet/closet). I am amazed how he gets up and rearranges his closets. His suits are in the far left closet so he leaves them alone. The two middle closets he rearranges (left one has pants/slacks and right one has shirts and I have put his t-shirts on hangers). Sometimes I wash them all just to be on the safe side, but usually I just make sure they're hung properly/safely. He enjoys being in bed and looking out of the window closest to his bed (I have heavy curtains at lower half of window). He comments often about how he likes to look at the tall trees through the window. Supposedly that is therapeutic which I'm grateful for. His bath entrance is oversized and is directly in line with his bed. He has a huge bath with two end sections of a sectional sofa on either side of his pedestal sink. He has four windows in his bath, a claw foot tub, and a massive shower that is all of the right side of the room from the doorway. He enjoys sitting on the sofas looking out the windows at birds and squirrels. I've noticed how he likes to pace so the expansiveness of both rooms is a blessing. He has a dresser along the wall to the right of his bath entrance that houses ties, hankerchiefs, underpants, socks. He loves the wool socks from LLBean. He has a wingback recliner in front of the dresser because of a television where he enjoys classics and clean comedies. The pretty ladies in the classics are more his favorites than the westerns he used to enjoy so. Our kitchen, dining room, and living room is open space which is easy for him. The hardwood floors are incredibly beautiful. He touches the knots in the wood often so he is getting exercise. I worried he would fall over, but he is learning to balance himself. The patio doors view the back yard which is privacy fenced with a couple dogs he enjoys watching. I do not open those doors (there is another back yard door). A huge daybed is in front of them and he lounges couple times a day. Large trees in back yard provide birds for him to watch. I studied a lot about this disease and even had first-hand experience with his elder brother, but nothing prepared me for my parent becoming child-like. I have two Queen Ann wingback chairs along a wall facing each other with a glass-topped wicker long low table between them (a sitting area). Another brother who is two years younger visits. We have the oversized checkers game from Cracker Barrel we play often. This coming January'll be two years since my dad's doctor told him not to drive. Occasionally, I go to the grocery store alone after I've put dad to bed and he has his television on. Life is slow around here. He loves his room and bath. He often tells me so. We have been eating out often for socialization, but find the cleanliness issues in many restaurants to be a concern. So I'm preparing healthy foods at home. Right now the crock pot is on high setting for steel cut oatmeal we'll have at ten o'clock. I understand oatmeal is supposed to be great to eat for meal before bed because it is so soothing, but he likes it in the morning. Daddy does rearrange his bureau drawers. I keep extras in another place in case I question the cleanliness. I'm lucky he is using the bathroom on his own and in the toilet (I hear men can get confused about where to aim). The Honest Co. (actress Jessica Alba's company) offers a hand soap that is gentle and I've noticed a difference since my dad has been using it. He brushes his teeth with Desert Essence's natural tea tree oil and neem toothpaste which is keeping his gums healthy. I am considering fencing the front yard with one of those iron fences so daddy and the dogs can walk around one of the smaller trees in the front yard (like a walking track) instead of joining a fitness facility where he would become confused easily by the differing members he would interact with. There are 3 cats in our house and he adores watching them run and slide along the wood floors. Our dining/kitchen table is oblong and glasstopped with parsons chairs. I thought he would get confused, but he hasn't. We can enjoy the beautiful wood floors through the glass. Luckily he doesn't bother the stove nor the washer or dryer. I am grateful that I can care for my dad in a home setting where he has freedoms and close personal attention. Best of luck with your mom!

Optimistic...You are lucky to have such a suitable arrangement for your Dad. Hopefully things won't change to rapidly for him and he can enjoy life with you. Best of luck.

My dad is 82 with Alzheimers and lives with me.We moved in April and he is fortunate to have a room with four closet cabinets on one wall with two windows that have window seats (a cabinet/closet then a window seat then two cabinet/closets then a window seat then a cabinet/closet). I am amazed how he gets up and rearranges his closets. His suits are in the far left closet so he leaves them alone. The two middle closets he rearranges (left one has pants/slacks and right one has shirts and I have put his t-shirts on hangers). Sometimes I wash them all just to be on the safe side, but usually I just make sure they're hung properly/safely. He enjoys being in bed and looking out of the window closest to his bed (I have heavy curtains at lower half of window). He comments often about how he likes to look at the tall trees through the window. Supposedly that is therapeutic which I'm grateful for. His bath entrance is oversized and is directly in line with his bed. He has a huge bath with two end sections of a sectional sofa on either side of his pedestal sink. He has four windows in his bath, a claw foot tub, and a massive shower that is all of the right side of the room from the doorway. He enjoys sitting on the sofas looking out the windows at birds and squirrels. I've noticed how he likes to pace so the expansiveness of both rooms is a blessing. He has a dresser along the wall to the right of his bath entrance that houses ties, hankerchiefs, underpants, socks. He loves the wool socks from LLBean. He has a wingback recliner in front of the dresser because of a television where he enjoys classics and clean comedies. The pretty ladies in the classics are more his favorites than the westerns he used to enjoy so. Our kitchen, dining room, and living room is open space which is easy for him. The hardwood floors are incredibly beautiful. He touches the knots in the wood often so he is getting exercise. I worried he would fall over, but he is learning to balance himself. The patio doors view the back yard which is privacy fenced with a couple dogs he enjoys watching. I do not open those doors (there is another back yard door). A huge daybed is in front of them and he lounges couple times a day. Large trees in back yard provide birds for him to watch. I studied a lot about this disease and even had first-hand experience with his elder brother, but nothing prepared me for my parent becoming child-like. I have two Queen Ann wingback chairs along a wall facing each other with a glass-topped wicker long low table between them (a sitting area). Another brother who is two years younger visits. We have the oversized checkers game from Cracker Barrel we play often. This coming January'll be two years since my dad's doctor told him not to drive. Occasionally, I go to the grocery store alone after I've put dad to bed and he has his television on. Life is slow around here. He loves his room and bath. He often tells me so. We have been eating out often for socialization, but find the cleanliness issues in many restaurants to be a concern. So I'm preparing healthy foods at home. Right now the crock pot is on high setting for steel cut oatmeal we'll have at ten o'clock. I understand oatmeal is supposed to be great to eat for meal before bed because it is so soothing, but he likes it in the morning. Daddy does rearrange his bureau drawers. I keep extras in another place in case I question the cleanliness. I'm lucky he is using the bathroom on his own and in the toilet (I hear men can get confused about where to aim). The Honest Co. (actress Jessica Alba's company) offers a hand soap that is gentle and I've noticed a difference since my dad has been using it. He brushes his teeth with Desert Essence's natural tea tree oil and neem toothpaste which is keeping his gums healthy. I am considering fencing the front yard with one of those iron fences so daddy and the dogs can walk around one of the smaller trees in the front yard (like a walking track) instead of joining a fitness facility where he would become confused easily by the differing members he would interact with. There are 3 cats in our house and he adores watching them run and slide along the wood floors. Our dining/kitchen table is oblong and glasstopped with parsons chairs. I thought he would get confused, but he hasn't. We can enjoy the beautiful wood floors through the glass. Luckily he doesn't bother the stove nor the washer or dryer. I am grateful that I can care for my dad in a home setting where he has freedoms and close personal attention. Best of luck with your mom!

Does anyone know how o get medicare to provide a hospital bed with rails free of charge or at low cost?

We thoroughly hijacked worryed's thread. Sorry, worryed. I don't know if there is a way to keep your mother from moving her furniture around. I've not been able to get mine to stop. Maybe you can ask her how she would like the room and arrange it with her once. I wonder if that would satisfy her that things were right. I know it may not, since things may not stay right long and she may move things again. Sometimes we just have to play it by ear one day at a time.

What I need is one that provides a false reading and allows for adjustments that really dont do anything just to keep L happy. I swear he doesnt complain about being cold until he looks at the thermometer. And if it dips below 74 he will turn it up again. A bit sly? You bet.

FF, I had considered one of those for my mother's house. Then I played through the different scenarios of how she would react to it and decided to not try it. I think it is a good option for someone whose mother is less steel-willed.

There are tamper proof thermostats that one can have installed. This is not one of those plastic see through cover but an actual thermostat. Limits maximum heat and minimum cool temperature setting. You can customize the highest and lowest. For example the maximum heat can be set to 68°, 70° or a temperature of your choosing.

Go to Google and type in "ControlTemp Thermostats". I never used one but from the write up sounds like it would work.

Not real cheap but I think would be worth the money if it stop the aggravation.

Just absolutely irks me! If they had their way, the furnace would be on all summer!

Yes, let the thermostat wars begin!

It is when I would head to the thermostat and turn it back off. Let the thermostat wars begin.

And when I just heard the furnace kick on, I ran for the basement, opened windows. PLEASE, NOT ALREADY!

Winter time is no sweat -- pun intended. I close the vents off in my two rooms and can open the windows. Summer is when it gets bad. Closing vents and opening windows doesn't help in the south US. We need air. It's funny to watch my rabbit when things are too hot. He'll hear the air conditioner cut on, then run to the vent fast as he can. He'll sit there and let the cold air blow through his fur. I know how he feels.

Jessie,
Turning up the heat?! Already fighting that here today. Instead of closing windows, turning on space heater, let's heat up the whole darn house. If it gets down to 72 in the house, it is too cold. Here is to the beginning of what they say is going to be a hard winter! ARRRGH!

I bet it is more common than we know, FF. Maybe it's caused by the feeling that something isn't right, and if they can only get the furniture right, all would be fine. Or maybe there are secret demons coming up from the floor they need to stop. Who knows if they don't tell us?

It takes a good bit of strength to move my mother's bedroom furniture. It could be harmful if they fell doing it. It IS harmful on my back trying to get things smoothed out again. Since I didn't move the furniture and she didn't move it, I just say those gremlins must have been at it again... you know, those gremlins that keep turning up the heat or eating the snacks that I forget to put out of sight.

There are compulsive re-arrangers. My MIL, in her younger days would rearrange the Living room every few months. She would repaint the walls every two years. In the yard, she would move TREES every Spring. Drove her sons batty with all the digging. Killed a lot of trees, too. I think it is a touch of OCD.

FF, I think if some had their way bed would be hanging to the ceiling on order to make more floor space! LOL! Gotta laugh or we would all lose what sanity we have left.

I am not familiar with furniture moving among those with memory issues... is it harmful for them to do that? I know it could be confusing at night if they need to get up and their routine path isn't the same.

If it isn't harmful and they have don't have a major health risk [heart condition] would it be better to let them move to their heart's content, as long as the furniture isn't top heavy? I guess they are doing that for a reason, does it make their mind more relaxed because its a physical activity? Do they want their bed to face East for some reason?

Just asking.

Lordy! Is there NOTHING we don't have to deal with. Furniture Moving!

This drives me crazy, too. My mother rearranges her furniture. She pushes her bed this way and that, drags chest of drawers here and there, buckles the big rug, moves the table wherever. Drives me crazy, because I have to get the rug back flat and bed back on the caster cups. I can't get her not to do it. She is stronger than I am in her arms. I think she does it either because of general discontent, or because she imagines something is coming up from somewhere in her room. She never says why -- she denies even doing it.

One has to remember that with Alzheimer's/dementia [as per your profile] that the patient's mind is going in reverse... she eventually becomes a small child in an adult body. That is the reason that your Mom sometimes doesn't understand you when you tell her not to do something, like move about the house when you are not home, or rearranging things in her room.

As Maggie had pointed about above, sounds like it time that you can no longer leave Mom home alone.

I am going to assume she is moving furniture as my mom on occasion will try to do. Eliminate all unnecessary furniture; make sure any remaining furniture is light weight or on wheels to allow for easy rearranging. If there is carpet on the floor, replace it with la vinyl product (added bonus, when bathroom accidents happen easier cleanup). Hang clothes in closet rather than having them stored in drawers. Maybe her new activity will become rearranging her closet and I don't see much harm in that.