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chickwhite1 Asked September 2014

Will going to a Senior Citizen Center help a dementia Mom (81) with a bad heart condition to have better days?

I am 63. I plan to go for the exercise, other crafts and activities, just to get out of the house. I plan to take my Mom with me just to get her out as well. It is not my intention for her do anything since she does not do anything at home, but sit all day! I wish she liked crafts or games, but she doesn't. She has sundowners, I guess I spelled that right, but about 3 p.m. she starts walking and trying to get out. I need this relief! Hopefully, that taking her out about 2 - 3 times a week will help both of us.

Patathome01 Sep 2014
Does anyone like to play bingo?

coastred Sep 2014
Whether it helps, or not, you won't know until you try. Also, as suggested in other posts, Adult Day Care is a really good option; level of dementia appropriate activities create a much more positive environment for them. It allows you to have some time off for your own mental, emotional and physical well being.

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Ande1122 Sep 2014
Hi; I agree with everyone here. Your county may have fee-free- slots for residents who qualify. Getting my mom into a daycare was a major blessing for both of us. Because I needed the autonomy and higher level of activity I joined an active senior center for an annual fee of about $15.00.

starskye Sep 2014
it is a great idea getting out & about, if you feel that youre mum wont or cant join in with the activies that is available then buy a set of coloured pens & a colouring in book and let her fill it in herself, choose a book with flowers and scenery, my mum is in hospital she is 84yrs with dementia, we never thought for a minute she would be interested in doing this, today she asked for crayons, just remind her how much you like her drawings and hang 1 up at home, reminding her of this. I hope this is helpful for you.

purplehaze Sep 2014
My mother was very active at one time with crafts and senior activities. We started taking her to a Enrichment center for 6 hrs a day. They had lunch and did something different everyday. It worked out fine till my Mom went through some changes like having bathrooms accidents and falling asleep. That's when my Dad was really sick. he eventually passed away. But they said we could no longer bring Mom. it was said for us because it got her out of the house and around people. Even if its people watching, she started doing rather than doing crafts, she loves that. Now that's she just at home she just dozes off more often. I wish there were more places where she can go and they are able to handle more situations for Dementa clients. That center has grown now but only to more advance clients, my Mom had been there when they first opened now they said no more, those issues she had are gone , only happened when my Dad was dying.

ferris1 Sep 2014
If I can highly recommend a senior daycare program. I started my husband in one last Thursday and there are lots of male veterans with whom he can converse and they have activities suited especially for the senior body and mind. Dementia people are welcome and it was the best idea I have had. The VA is picking up the cost of two days per week and it allows me to get the things done I need to, or just take a much-needed nap. Socialization is great for anyone! Good luck. I'm 66 and very active and socialization with having a loved one with dementia is a Godsend!

GGsGirl Sep 2014
What a great way to approach someone who is resistant. Don't know why but I had not considered going, too, in order to get my mother interested. Will have to give this a try. Perhaps in time she would be content there & allow me some time out on my own. Thanks!

nicenurse10 Sep 2014
My mom goes to alzheimers time out 5 hours day and don't know what I would do without them.at first she didn't want to go but now looks forward to it.otherwise mom does the same, just sits all day. I am too tired pure eying her food, washing clothes, grocery shopping,etc to keep her busy and I am by myself in this journey.

twotonne Sep 2014
Take you mother out with you and just try to keep an eye on her while you are busy. You might ask some of the other visitors to help you watch. If you are really worried about wandering, put your cell phone number either directly on her skin with a marker or on a band-aid where people could see it and call you if she wanders.

katnmouse Sep 2014
For what its worth, the outside activities will be most beneficial to you if you are not "on duty". If finances permit find a day stay facility for Mom. Their activities will be designed for her, she will have the opportunity for new interactions but best of all the stimulation will help tremendously with the evening restlessness. My husband resisted his twice a week visits for about 6 weeks but persistence paid off in big benefits for both of us.

gladimhere Sep 2014
Chick, quail is correct. The day care Mom attends accepts Medicaid payment for clients eligible. And day care was recently certified so they can accept clients that use VA Aid and Attendance funds.

quailmom Sep 2014
Dear Chick
I agree with GladImhere. My husband [Cognitive impairment dx] started in a day program a couple of months back. I was very worried that he would hate it, but no! He loves it. He is very disappointed when he can't go. [They are closed on weekends]. I think he really likes having something of his own and doesn't have to depend on me for all activities. You will enjoy your time at the center much more if someone else is making sure your Mom is occupied and happy. If she is a vet or was married to one you may be able to get help paying for daycare through the VA. Our adult program works with VA. It helps us both. He is much happier.

mgcarter Sep 2014
Socialization is the best thing that has happened to my mother since her diagnosis. She seems more alert and interested in what is going on outside her private world. I have a friend that took her ALZ father to an Adult Day care. She was able to continue working and he got out of the house on a regular basis. The day care had workers who understood the disease and knew how to manage the individuals who attended the care center.

Smeltzer31970 Sep 2014
Ours is run through the local Council On A, they even do outings. She is going to the zoo tomorrow.

gladimhere Sep 2014
Chick, activity and socialization is very important for those with dementia. I would get bored to if I was with the same person, day after day after day! Is there a day care in your area for those with dementia? My concern is that mom will become frustrated because of the complexity of the crafts at the senior center. Dementia day care offers crafts that are appropriate for those with dementia.

Smeltzer31970 Sep 2014
Yes, I have it a couple days a week. It has been a good thing for us.

IKORWPA Sep 2014
It sounds awesome to me. It could offer you both an outlet. She might end up enjoying it and doing crafts. Socialization with others pushes people out of their comfort zone. I think it is a great plan for both of you! Have Fun!

BarbBrooklyn Sep 2014
I think it's a great idea! have you approached her doctor about the possibility of meds to reduce the Sundowning? Can you get her seen by a geriatric psychiatrist?

MaggieMarshall Sep 2014
I think it's a great idea!!

Just make sure you don't get so wrapped up in what you're doing that she wanders off. It's GOT to be better to "people watch" different people than she watches at home. Mom has dementia. Nothing pleases her more than watching the world go by.

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