She is very combative, has been recently diagnosed with lung cancer and refuses to let us talk to her doctors. We believe she may have been diagnosed with dementia over a year ago. She cannot get along with any caregivers and will not let us help her. She is trusting strangers over her family and shutting my brother and I out from obtaining any information. We are certain she has it, but she refuses to go for a test and let us know the results are. We've tried to talk to her and she tells us we are "sick" and need help. What do we do?
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My mom had lung cancer as well. After the initial diagnosis she was never the same mentally again. She died a very sad woman.
If she has lung cancer, you're all in for a tough year. Don't compound it by pressuring her to confirm she has dementia. Love her. Respect her wishes. Bring her flowers and candy. Take her out to lunch if she's able.
If she continues to shut you out, wait a while. Send her well-wishing greeting cards with love. She may become more receptive if you back off about contacting her doctors.
Now is absolutely NOT the time to get on her case about anything.